In This Memory
by Kulmanari
Summary: How will Zack Martin carry on living when everything he has valued most in his life is brutally ripped away from him? Just what happened that pushed him to the point of ending his life, rather than living another minute on the earth?
1. Prologue

**In This Memory**

**"Prologue"**

How will Zack Martin carry on living when everything he has valued most in his life is brutally ripped away from him? Just what happened that pushed him to the point of ending his life, rather than living another minute on the earth?

_Cut my life into pieces  
This is my last resort  
Suffocation  
No breathing  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding  
Would it be wrong  
Would it be right  
If I took my life tonight  
Chances are that I might  
Mutilation outta sight  
And I'm contemplating suicide_

'Cause I'm losing my sight  
Losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
Nothing's alright  
Nothing is fine  
I'm running and I'm crying

"Last Resort" by Papa Roach

It was a very cold overcast afternoon in Boston, even colder at the top of the magnificent Tipton Hotel where its' resident troublemaker was taking refuge from the rest of the world. The young man wasn't bothered by the cold, for a cold fire burned deep within him. He felt angry at how helpless he currently felt and there was a sadness beyond description burning deep within him. Everything and everyone in his life that made it worth living was gone. Brutally ripped away from him in the blink of an eye. Over the course of two weeks he'd gone from a carefree troublemaker living the sweet suite life to an emotional wreck who no longer remembered what it felt like to be happy.

Zachary Martin sighed as his cell phone started ringing. He knew who it was without looking. His department of children and families caseworker was checking up on him again, just as she'd done the past several days ever since his mother was re-admitted to the hospital for a second time. She'd just keep calling if he didn't answer and eventually come looking for him if he didn't pick up. Zack pulled the phone from his pocket and answered.

"Yeah?" His tone of voice was completely flat and emotionless. He felt nothing anymore, he was almost like a zombie most of the time except when he dwelled too long on the events of the past two weeks.

"Hello Zack. I need to talk to you face to face. Where are you?" Zack felt a chill pass through his body. He just knew by the tone of her voice that the worse had finally come to pass... He mustered up what little courage he had to ask the fateful question.

"She died didn't she...?" Sarah Evans didn't answer him for the longest time. The silence over the line seemed to stretch on forever, every second taking its' toll on Zack's emotions. He pulled the phone away from his ear to make sure the call hadn't dropped or anything, which it hadn't, and then put it back to his ear. The phone seemed to creak softly as his grip tightened on it. He had to know...even if he didn't want to.

"Yes. I'm sorry Zack…" Sarah paused before continuing, but he only distantly heard what she had to say as though it wasn't him that she was talking too, "Where are you? I'm going to pick you up." Zack fell to his knees, tears coming to his eyes and flowing freely down his cheeks. They felt incredibly warm at first as they flowed down his cheeks but quickly became icy as the leading edges ran over his lips, leaving a salty taste on his tongue. Now everything was gone, there was nothing left in the world for him...

"The Tipton," he sobbed, closing his eyes and bowing his head as the grief washed over him. It hurt so bad. It was like being stabbed by a knife right through the heart...

"What are you doing there? I can be there in about thirty minutes."

"Remembering..." Zack whispered, hanging up the call and setting the phone down. He fell forward onto all fours, his whole body trembling. He wished Cody were here right now to comfort him, to share in his agony. Somehow he just knew that his twin brother would make him feel that everything would be alright despite how bleak the future looked. His tears fell from his face lightly onto the roof top, staining its surface with his misery.

Cody...god how he missed him! They'd always been close, but they'd also had their fair share of arguments and fights. Zack hadn't really appreciated what he'd had until he lost it. He'd spent the past few nights sleeping in his brother's bed. It still smelled like Cody...his body wash, shampoo and the hint of cologne he'd worn on his last date with Barbara. It was amazing how many memories could be stirred up by such simple things.

He'd been so excited, yet nervous as all hell, about that date. Cody and Barbara had left early Sunday afternoon and wouldn't be back until later that night. Conveniently, Barbara's parents were out of town…and Zack could very well think of some activities that they might get around to in that situation. Despite his overwhelming grief, a small smile touched his lips at the thought of how much he and his brother had grown up over the years and how they were starting to get really involved with girls. Now they'd never see each other again…

That left him with the one burning question that he wanted answered above all others. What was he to do with himself now? He had nothing left to live for and the world wouldn't miss Zack Martin if he was gone forever. He never really had much of an outlook for the future and would probably end up as a drain on society, like Cody always liked to tease him, rather than being a productive member of society and accomplishing something important. The world didn't really need Zack Martin.

He crawled to the edge of the Tipton's roof, stood and then propped his arms up on the low wall that ran around the edge. It was such a long way down, everything on the ground looked so tiny from up here. Zack could do it…it would be so easy to throw himself off the edge of the roof and fall to his death. A few seconds of freefall and then with a sudden quickness, it would be all over. No more pain, no more grief, no more crying…He would leave the world just as quickly as everyone else had, just that this time there would be no one left alive to mourn for him… Zack had just started to climb up onto the wall, straddling it with one foot on the roof, the other hanging in the air over twenty three stories above the street down below when a familiar voice made him hesitate.

"ZACK!!!" Mr. Moseby came running towards him, the door to the roof access banging loudly behind him as it rebounded against the wall it was set into and slammed shut. The Tipton's overly strict and authoritative manager stopped several feet from him, his brown eyes meeting Zack's tear stricken blue-green. There was wisdom behind the older man's eyes, the kind you get from living a full life full of experiences both good and bad.

"Are you seriously going to kill yourself Zack? After all you've been through, this is how you want to end it?" Moseby demanded of him. Some small distant part of Zack felt shocked at the manager's tone of voice, he was angry yes…but there was also a pleading tone in his voice, as though asking him to reconsider…

"There's nothing here for me now," Zack replied, looking away from the man who'd been his worst nemesis in his troublemaking endeavors for the past few years. Another small part of him felt ashamed at being a disappointment to Moseby. What was the matter with him? Why did he feel like that? Why did he care what Moseby thought of him anyway???

"Cody wouldn't want you to do this Zack. He'd want you to live your life to the fullest and enjoy the things he never got to in life…like falling in love and starting a family…" Moseby was equally aware of Cody and Barbara's love for each other, having asked a bored Zack who was hanging around the lobby what he was up too. Hey…he'd asked!!! Zack's cheeks flushed red with anger…who was this man to tell him what his brother…his twin…his best friend…the other half of his body and soul would or would not want him to do with his life anyway???

"How the hell would you know?" Zack screamed at him, his voice cracking, biting his lower lip when he'd finished. If only he could just talk to his brother…just for a minute. Please god!!!

"I've known you two since you were eleven years old…you both have kinda grown on me over the years. I would do whatever it took to protect you both…and I think you're making a big mistake." He looked back around at Mr. Moseby, his eyes searching the man's face for any hint of deception. Was he just saying a nice thing like that to get him to come off the wall…or did he really mean it? Did Moseby really care about him and Cody? In the end it didn't really matter anyway. He'd made up his mind.

"I…I don't want this life anymore…"

"Zack…please…"

"I'm sorry…" With those last two words, spoken so softly and gently, Zack leaned over the edge. A ripple of fear raced through his body, terrifying him out of his wits, and as he lost all control over his body Zack suddenly realized that he wanted to live after all. The fear made him feel alive…but it was already too late.

He plunged through the air, flipping over and over, the cold wind whipping by him making his flesh feel like it was being frozen. Zack was vaguely aware of someone screaming his name from what seemed like a long way off…was it Mr. Moseby?

Zachary Martin's life flashed before his eyes just seconds before he slammed into the ground, his youthful body turned into a lifeless heap of flesh and broken bones lying in a pool of his own blood that was slowly spreading out from under him. Just before he impacted into the cold hard unforgiving ground he saw Cody in his mind, a look of incredible sadness and concern in his eyes tarnishing his loving face.

"I won't let you…" Cody whispered the instant Zack hit the ground…

* * *

**Coming Up:** We know the ending…but how did Zack Martin get to the point where he'd rather kill himself than stay alive on this earth another minute?

Stay tuned for **Chapter 1: Farewell My Love**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone. Yes, it's another story for me to work on, but I really felt like I wanted to work multiple angles with the Suite Life. "Just Visiting" is a general adventure fic while "The Chaos Demons" is my good vs evil story. I just had to add a tragedy that dealt with the harsh realities of losing loved ones and having to carry on with life.

Please let me know if you liked this. I'm a bit new to writing about this kind of thing happening to a person and trying to make the characters really believable/realistic. I had a lot of inspiration to write about this from writing the Chaos Demons and listening to the song "Last Resort", which I really recommend you listen too to get in the mood of this story. Also, this story ignores the Suite Life on Deck and has the twins still living at the Tipton at sixteen.

If anyone, especially you good tradegy writers, have some tips for me to make Zack really realistic to read about I'd welcome them. He'll be going from normal to what you see now in the prologue over a couple of weeks as a result of multiple character deaths. Feel free to send a PM =)


	2. Farewell My Love

**Chapter 1**

"**Farewell My Love"**

_Cause nobody wants to be the last one there  
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares  
Someone to love with my life in their hands  
There's gotta be somebody for me like that  
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own  
And everyone wants to know they're not alone  
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere  
There's gotta be somebody for me out there_

"_Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickelback_

"So what do you think?" Zack gagged as the scent of Cody's new cologne assaulted his nostrils. It was a really strong apple scent mixed with something that smelled like gasoline and it stung pretty badly.

"Whoa! Are you trying to keep Barbara or drive her away?" He coughed, backing away and plopping down on the edge of his bed. Cody shrugged and left their shared bedroom to go to the bathroom and finish getting ready for his date with Barbara. Zack was secretly proud of his twin brother and a bit jealous actually for how far his relationship was going. Those two were really hitting things off now that they were older and being less competitive around each other at school.

Though not for lack of trying, Zack was still trying to put the moves on his own girlfriend and see just how far she was willing to go with him. But this time it was different…This was the first girl he'd ever gone out with for this long. He'd been dating Amy for almost a year now, and he'd never felt this attached to any of the other girls he'd dated before. She was smart, with a lot of common sense, and was just girly enough for him without being overwhelmingly so. Amy would dress up and care about how she looked of course, but it wasn't the end of the world if she wasn't perfect. She knew that she was only human and Zack really was attracted to her down to earth personality. He lay on his bed, hands resting intertwined behind his head for several minutes thinking about her lovely brown eyes and soft wheat colored hair.

"Honey, shouldn't you be downstairs?" Carey Martin, the twin's mother, asked him. Zack shot up out of bed, mumbling an affirmative answer before bolting out of the suite and into the elevator. Cody had distracted him, then he'd started thinking of Amy and before he knew it he'd almost forgotten that Maddie was stopping by to say goodbye to everyone. Maddie had worked the candy counter at the Tipton hotel since the boys were eleven years old and she'd had a real big impact on their lives. Cody had often gotten help on projects or advice on higher education as she was very smart. Zack meanwhile had experienced his first true crush on a girl the moment he met her, and had spent the better part of his life at the Tipton trying to get her to go out with him unsuccessfully. The crush had faded a lot over the years, and now that he was older and had met Amy, Zack had started thinking of Maddie as more of a big sister these days.

He came out of the elevator when it stopped in the lobby, seeing the beautiful Madeline Fitzpatrick hugging the Tipton's overbearing, authoritative and occasionally fun loving manager Marion Moseby who had been her boss the whole time she'd worked there. Maddie glanced over and smiled as she caught sight of Zack heading towards her.

"Hey sweet thang!" He greeted her, using his old pickup line from when he was younger. It was kind of a personal joke between them now.

"Hey handsome thang!" Maddie joked back, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him in a gentle embrace. What he wouldn't have given a few years ago for her to do this…

"I'm gonna miss you Maddie. You still owe me that prom dance too, don't forget." Zack teased her, but pouring all the sincerity into his voice as though if he put enough of it in there that he'd somehow convince Maddie to stay.

"I won't. Don't worry, I'll be back at Christmas to visit! Well, I've gotta get going, I don't want to be late now."

"Cya Maddie. Good luck!" He really meant it, from the bottom of his heart. If anyone was more deserving of the scholarships, he couldn't think of anyone else but her. She was so smart, and had a bright promising future ahead of her. This was her big chance, and she was taking it in stride.

"Thanks Zack, see you soon!" With Maddie walking away from him, leaving the Tipton one last time before heading off to college and a new job, Zack felt as though a page in his life had just turned and a new chapter had begun. He watched her leave the hotel and then get into her parents car. They would be taking her to the airport. When Maddie was finally gone from sight, Zack turned away and made his way back upstairs to get ready for tonight.

"Farewell my love," He whispered silently, a lone tear snaking its way down his cheek, as he looked back outside one last time before the elevator doors shut.

* * *

"Do you like the movie so far?" Amy asked, resting her head on Zack's shoulder, snuggling closer to him. Her shoulder length chestnut brown hair cascaded down his shirt and the scent of her strawberry scented shampoo flooded his nose. She was so beautiful, so lovely. He'd never felt the feelings that he was experiencing in her presence about anyone else before. This had to be what true love felt like. The desire to be close to her, to touch her, feel her warmth against him was overwhelming. Her voice was perhaps the sweetest sound he'd ever heard and whenever she spoke to him, she commanded his full attention without even trying to do so as he hung on her every word…

"I like the company a lot more," he replied seductively. Amy shifted sideways and slid into his lap, her arms snaking their way behind his neck and shoulders. Her gentle brown eyes looked up at him, though he couldn't truly see them in the dark theater, and she pulled herself closer to his face.

No matter how many times they kissed, each time felt like the first. That second or two of uncertainty followed by a deep passion as they both threw caution to the winds. Each time Zack felt like he'd received an electric shock. She had such an incredible effect on him. Man, he felt like he could stay like this forever.

His hands found her waist and slipped under her shirt. Why were women always so much warmer than men? He slowly moved his hands upward, her smooth skin sliding effortlessly past his fingertips. Amy reached down and stopped his hands just shy of their final destination and pulled away from the kiss, "Not yet, well, not here anyway," she whispered, giving him a devilish smile. Zack felt defeated when she had stopped him, but then her last words picked him right back up again. She could tell he was definitely intrigued by her offer, and he knew that she was ready to move to the next level.

They watched the rest of the movie quietly, Amy interested by it while Zack was more interested in her body resting against his as she snuggled into him still sitting in his lap. She'd pulled his right arm around her side and was holding his hand in both of hers, mindlessly playing with his fingers while she continued watching the movie.

Several minutes later he became aware of an incessant vibrating in his left pocket that wouldn't let up as someone kept calling him. He ignored his phone until Amy noticed and told him it was cool if checked it. He pulled it out of his pocket with his free left hand and saw that he had a new text message sitting on top of several missed calls. They were all from Cody…what the??? He opened the message and read, 'Zack, call me ASAP. It's about Maddie'.

Zack sighed inwardly as he pulled away from Amy. He politely excused himself, hoping he wasn't making an ass of himself by doing so and made his way up the isle to the back doors where he pulled out his phone again. Cody's text message was really bothering him as horrible thoughts filled his head. What was about Maddie? What was so damn important that Cody, who should have still been out with his own date, would interrupt him while he was at the movies with Amy?

Cody's phone didn't even ring when Zack called it, it went straight to his brother's voicemail, "Hi this is Cody. Sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave me a message." Zack snapped his phone shut to end the call, then flipped it back open realizing that he could just call Maddie and check that everything was alright with her…But everything wasn't alright. His call bounced to her voicemail immediately, and subsequent calls to his mother and the phone in the suite at the Tipton went unanswered.

Something was wrong. There could be no other explanation…Zack and his brother were both out late with girls tonight… Their mother should be perched near one of the two phones just in case something happened to one of them. However much Carey Martin loved having time to herself Zack knew well enough that his mother felt an empty feeling whenever her sons were gone and the longer they remained away from her, the more her worrying about them increased.

It just figured too. He'd finally scored some major points with Amy tonight and now he was most likely about to lose them all he thought glumly as he returned to his seat. Something told him that this was serious though, and it totally killed his mood. He had to go back to the hotel and check on things. In hushed whispers Zack explained his worry to Amy, and surprisingly she was completely understanding about the whole thing. Although that might have had something to do with the fact that he had avoided mentioning his friend Maddie by name…or gender for that matter. Man that was what he loved about Amy. She understood that 'life happens' and had no reason to disbelieve Zack after a year of his faithful relationship with her. Calling off the date early really sucked, but he was committed now and whatever consequences were to come he would deal with when they arose.

* * *

Zack jumped the last step of the city bus and landed on the sidewalk at the corner of the Tipton hotel. It wasn't an actual bus stop, but he'd rode the bus so many times and knew the driver well enough that he'd been able to ask for the favor. He jogged up the handful of steps outside the hotel and pushed his way through the revolving door, noticing that Norman was absent. Then again it was nearly ten thirty, he had to be off work by now, and the Tipton was winding down for the night.

"Hey Tim, have you seen…" Zack was cutoff as the Tipton's young night manager pointed at Mr. Moseby's office door which was half open, "What's going on?" Tim just shook his head at him and pointed to the office once again in a more energetic gesture. What was the matter with him? Couldn't he at least say something? Zack made his way over to Moseby's office, perhaps his least most favorite place in the Tipton hotel, and quietly slipped inside after his soft knock on the door frame had gone unanswered.

Mr. Moseby was standing behind his desk, hands resting on its polished wooden surface supporting his upper body weight as he leaned forward, his comfortable black leather chair lying askew on the floor behind him. Except for the fact that he had removed his suit jacket, he was still dressed for work. The Tipton's manager didn't even look at Zack as he came in, his attention glued to the television set sitting on top of his filing cabinet in the corner of the office to Zack's right. London was there too, looking like she had wandered in by accident except that she was holding a white handkerchief, presumably Moseby's, to her tear stained face. Zack's mom was standing beside his brother Cody, shaking her head in that way that told him she wasn't accepting what she was hearing, with her arm wrapped around the younger twin.

Cody was still dressed in the clothes that he had chosen to wear for his date with Barbara although he looked a little more unkempt than the last time Zack had seen him. His clothes were wrinkled pretty badly and his blond hair looked windswept, several parts of it sticking out at odd angles. Zack guessed that his little bro had really gone the distance with Barbara tonight, but what had made him come back so early? As if on queue, the answer presented itself in the worst possible way imaginable, putting a halt to his embarrassing thoughts about what the two of them had been doing together.

"Once again for those of you just now joining us, we bring you continuing coverage of this breaking news story. American Airlines Flight 7644, Boston International to LAX has crashed somewhere in the Midwestern United States. The Captain of the Boeing 747 jet began sending out a mayday call over an hour ago just minutes before radio and radar contact with the plane was abruptly lost…"

"Zack…" Cody whispered… His brother wouldn't even look at him, "That's Maddie's flight number…" Zack's eyes were drawn back to the television, a cold tingle ran down his spine and a heavy lump seemed to form in the pit of his stomach. No! Oh no, not Maddie…She had to be ok! She just had to be.

"The Federal Aviation Administration and flight controllers on the ground, who had just begun to track the American flight as it entered their respective airspace, believe that the plane went down just over one hundred miles southwest of Denver, Colorado."

"We're now bringing you live images of the downed aircraft from our Denver affiliate…" Mr. Moseby's office was dead silent as they all looked on in horror at the disaster being displayed to them before their very eyes from the shakey camera of a helicopter circling above the wreckage.

The nose of the plane, and at least most of the first class rows, looked to have taken the brunt of the impact reminding Zack of an empty aluminum soda can being stomped on. Lying in front of the furrow that the nose of the plane had dug into the ground was the main fuselage. It appeared as though it had separated from the front of the plane and flipped over the point of impact to lie a little further away upside down. One of the wings had snapped off and was nowhere to be seen, probably thrown clear by the second impact, while the remaining wing that was still miraculously attached was covered in jet fuel fed flames. The tail of the American plane had also broken free and was lying even further away from the point of impact, looking like it had smashed into a dozen pieces as it hit the ground. It was the only part of the Boeing 747 that wasn't on fire.

As the helicopter camera zoomed out and panned to one side, Zack could see red and blue lights flashing in the distance as an army of emergency vehicles approached from the distant highway. They would put out the intense fires consuming the plane and then start searching for survivors…but after almost and hour, what hope was there left for anyone still aboard the plane who had survived the crash and hadn't already escaped? It was a miracle that the plane hadn't exploded yet.

"Oh my god…" Zack wasn't quite sure who spoke the last three words he would hear that night, for he feinted before his brain even registered the identity of the speaker. The main fuselage had just exploded, a wall of flame bursting out of either end of the broken plane and nearly every window spraying the melted fragments of safety glass all over the place. If there had been even the slightest chance that Maddie had somehow managed to survive the crash, that chance had just been utterly destroyed. Madeline Fitzpatrick was dead.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hope you liked this chapter. Was a bit odd for me to write, as I wrote it almost completely backwards from end to beginning. Sorry for the delay, but I really wanted this part to be meaningful because of how important it is. I love Maddie's character and felt really bad having to kill her off, but then this is a tragedy isn't it? =(

Let me know how I'm doing, because this is my first tragedy in any way/shape/form that I've ever written. Enough details? Not enough details? Story pacing too fast, too slow or just about right? More graphic or keep on leaving just enough details for the reader to visualize? Thanks all, stay tuned.

**Chapter 2: The Silent Killer**

Zack and the rest of Maddie's friends and family are grieving over her death. Almost a week has passed and Amy has been the biggest comfort and support for Zack to help him move on with his life. Everything is starting to look up for him until the silent killer strikes a devastating blow while the twins are at school.


	3. The Silent Killer

**Chapter 2**

"**The Silent Killer"**

_So Pardon me while I burst into flames.  
I've had enough of the world, and its people's mindless games  
So Pardon me while I burn, and rise above the flame  
Pardon me, pardon me. I'll never be the same._

"_Pardon Me" by Incubus_

It was lunch time at Cheevers High School and the cafeteria was jam packed with students. Ever since Cody had been elected school president and London Tipton's generous contribution, the food selection had vastly improved while remaining affordable. This attracted nearly all of the students to eat there rather than walking over to the nearby food court at the mall or bringing their own lunches. Every table was packed with students chatting excitedly, discussing varying topics like what they did on the weekend, boy or girl problems and class work woes. There was one table however that was pretty empty and an air of gloom hung over it.

Zack sighed, set his plastic fork down and leaned back crossing his arms. He'd been pushing the spaghetti noodles around his lunch plate for the past couple of minutes trying hard not to think about anything. He was hungry, but he didn't feel like he could summon the energy to eat. He knew that he was depressed, Maddie's tragic death had really hit him hard, and Zack knew that if he could keep his mind off of her he might be able to stop the pain. The emotional aftermath he'd been left in was like a physical pain, lashing out at him whenever he dwelled too much on the past.

Amy was sitting next to him, picking at her salad, Zack's sullen and withdrawn attitude was getting to her. She leaned over, placed her smooth as silk hand on his cheek and gave him a gentle kiss. Normally Zack would have felt an electric tingle pass through him when she did that, it always had been that way between them, but this time he felt nothing more than the pressure of her lips. She withdrew slightly and wrapped her left arm around Zack's shoulders, pulling him into a half embrace, and resting her head between his collarbone and neck.

"I know it hurts Zack and I just want you to know I'm here for you," Amy whispered in a comforting tone. Zack blinked rapidly, trying to hold back the tears of sadness forcing their way to the surface. He didn't want to cry again, it had hurt so bad when he'd cried himself to sleep on the night of the plane crash. His body shook and he sniffled as his nose started to run.

"Dammit, I don't want to cry," he stuttered. Amy pulled him even closer and gently pulled Zack into a comforting embrace, his head resting against her breast. Again, this should have turned him on being so close to her, but just as before he only felt her warmth and nothing more.

"It's ok to cry Zack. The sadness builds up so much till it hurts and the only way to feel better is to release it. You need to grieve." So he listened to her. Deep down Zack knew that letting go of his self control would indeed make him feel better, and Amy's words were like a key turning in a lock to open the door. Zack normally would have been absolutely embarrassed to cry in public, even though few people were actually looking in his direction, but losing a friend that he was so close to made him realize just how little what other people thought of him actually meant to him.

Zack noticed someone nearby out of the corner of his eye looking at Amy and himself. He blinked his vision clear, feeling a bubbling hatred rise up in him, ready to tell this person off. Zack suddenly felt like lashing out at someone, just yelling at them would probably make him feel better…then he saw that it was just his brother.

Cody had just finished dumping his lunch tray in the trash, along with Barbara, and was now looking at him. Zack could see the concern in his brother's eyes, the desire to come over and comfort him like he always did whenever something bad happened. This time though, Cody didn't make a move towards him. He forced a sad smile and then moved away to tell off a few people staring at Zack, leaving him alone to be comforted by Amy. He was glad Cody didn't come over no matter much better he would feel by having him here, it just didn't feel right. They'd talk later when they got home as usual.

His brother just hadn't been as attached to Maddie as he had, and so while Zack was thoroughly depressed over her passing Cody had managed to hold up a lot better. Cody had cried too that first night, but ever since then he'd been the one comforting and taking care of Zack at home. Their mother was so busy with her job and working on funeral arrangements with Maddie's parents that she didn't have much time to be with the boys, and whenever she did, Carey Martin was completely exhausted. She'd been really tired all of last week.

Zack hadn't gone to school last week, electing to stay home and wallow in sorrow. Today was his first day back and he'd only come because Cody and Amy both begged him to come to school to help get his mind off Maddie for a few hours. Maddie… He tried not thinking about her but try as he might, he couldn't help seeing her lovely blond hair, warm smile and loving eyes. Why did it hurt so bad to think about her? Why?

* * *

"We're not taking the bus." It was several hours later that day and classes had just let out. Zack had hooked up with Amy again, intending to ride the bus home with her like he normally did. His head was in a fog, he barely remembered being in class today let alone what his teachers had been going over, so it took him a moment to process her statement.

"We're not?" He asked, slightly confused. There was nothing more that Zack wanted right now than to get away from all these people and just be alone with his thoughts, or at least alone with his friends and family who understood what he was going through. He momentarily thought about protesting against whatever plan she'd devised for him, but shrugged off the idea just as quickly. There was no one else he trusted more than Amy besides Cody and his parents. She was just trying to make him feel better, and this was her way of doing it.

"We're walking," she said mysteriously, obviously getting some enjoyment out of exploiting his curiosity.

"Where to?" Zack played along with her. He was feeling a little better now, after releasing a lot of his grief and sadness at lunch, just as she said he would. Zack hoped she had something fun planned, because he really could use a break from being down all the time.

"You'll see babe." This left him no choice but to follow her as they made their way out of the school gates, past the nearby mall and into the downtown area of Boston.

About twenty minutes later they arrived at The Phoenix which was a fairly new buffet style restaurant that catered to the high school and college crowds. It had a large section for serving food and several dining areas set against the large windows. It was also equipped with a cyber café that served coffee and had free wireless internet. It was a cool place, Zack had come here a few times with Cody whenever they'd gone to see a new blockbuster hit movie to grab a bite to eat beforehand. Rock music was playing from speakers in the building, the volume at just the perfect setting so that it could be heard but wouldn't overpower casual conversation. It took him only a moment to recognize the song, "What I've Done" by Linkin Park, reminding Zack of the night he and Cody had been in line at midnight waiting to see Transformers.

Amy paid the cashier before Zack could even offer to do it himself and led him over to the far corner to a larger table where several people from high school were hanging out, talking and laughing. The glare from the sun streaming in the window had made it hard to tell who these people were and Zack was mildly surprised when he realized he was sitting down at a table with Cody, Barbara, Max and Bob.

Barbara was obviously Cody's long time girlfriend who he'd been going out with since he'd been in middle school. Max had been one of the first friends the twins made when they first moved to Boston and had stuck with them on and off over the years. She'd even had a crush on Zack, one which he didn't realize until she planted a kiss on him which had been his very first one, back when they were eleven and playing on the school's basketball team together. Bob was one of Zack's best friends, though he also hung out with Cody sometimes when he wasn't being too nerdy, and could always be counted on for some comic relief.

"Hey Zack," Cody greeted as he sat down across from his brother, Amy taking the corner seat next to him. For the next few seconds Zack was assaulted by numerous greetings and 'how are you doing?' questions. He grinned nervously, happy to be around so many people who cared about him. Still, he felt like he was still partially trying to hide inside his shell of depression.

"So who wants to eat?" Bob asked, looking around at them incredulously, probably wondering why they had come all this way to a restaurant to sit around talking instead of chowing down. Bob and Max got up to fill their plates immediately, though she rolled her eyes behind his back as they did giving the rest of them a goofy smile.

"Want anything Barbara?" Amy offered, pushing back from the table and standing up.

"No thanks, I'm not feeling well."

"What's the matter hun?" Cody asked gently, he'd stood up as well with Amy, but stayed behind while she left. Apparently Barbara hadn't said anything about this to him.

"Just an upset stomach. You go get whatever you want, I'll be fine with a Sprite or something."

"Ok, no problem. I'll get you a burger Zack if that's cool?" Cody offered and Zack nodded in response. It was a bit awkward now that he was alone at the table with his brother's girlfriend. The two of them never really talked beyond casual small talk in passing.

"So, how are you two doing?" Zack asked, sitting back in his chair. He really hoped that their relationship was doing well. Cody, despite being a nerdy little brother sometimes, was a really nice guy and deserved the best. He'd hate to see his brother crushed by a breakup right now.

"Oh we're doing fine." Barbara answered evasively, "The real question is, how are you holding up Zack?"

"Um…ok really," Zack mumbled, not wanting to talk about Maddie right now.

"Amy had us all come down here. She said you could use the company," That really made him feel better, knowing that all his friends were willing to come help him get over Maddie's death and lend him their support in any way they could.

"That was nice of her. I really do appreciate it."

"She is a nice person. You're a really lucky guy, just like your brother. The two of you are really great guys once you get past the troublemaker exterior," Barbara said with a sly grin on her beautiful face. She really was getting more and more gorgeous as she got older, moving away from her nerdy appearance and more towards that of a model or something. It really helped her that she now wore contacts instead of her glasses. It really brought out the color in her eyes.

"Oh really?" The look that he gave her made her burst out laughing, it was so spontaneous that he ended up smiling himself and feeling happier all the while. Right after that everyone came back to the table bearing plates of food and cups of soda.

Zack had to admit that he was having a really great time, as he sat there enjoying a good meal and talking with everyone. They all came because they cared about him, but they knew him enough not to heap too much pity on him as it would bring him down again. He was lucky to have them and even though he felt guilty at being happy right now even with Maddie's death hanging over him, he was glad that they were trying their hardest to pull him out of his shell. They were true friends, every last one of them.

* * *

"Cover me, I'm going in!" Zack rushed forward unleashing bursts of deadly accurate fire, mowing down scores of unprepared Grunts. He spun to the right, slamming his assault rifle into a Jackal's shield forcing it back and then killed it with a follow up strike to the head. With fluid precision he responded to the newest threat flanking him on the left, pulling out his rocket launcher and blasting away an over eager Brute. Above his head Carbine rounds screamed past, striking Grunt and Jackal reinforcements approaching him, signaling that Cody indeed had him covered. With the immediate area cleared out, Zack paused Halo 3.

"Sup?" Cody asked, setting his own controller down on the sofa and standing up to stretch. They'd been playing Halo ever since they got home from the Phoenix two hours ago, tearing up the campaign in co-operative mode on Legendary difficulty. Zack made his way over to the refrigerator and pulled out a cold Coke.

"Want anything?"

"Nah I'm good thanks," Cody laid down on the couch, pulling his knees up so that he was only taking up two of the three cushions leaving Zack some room. Zack returned to the couch, but paused before sitting down looking over at their backpacks which were so casually thrown on the floor. He knew they had a lot of homework to do, and it was weird that he should care about such a thing. Maybe it was because Maddie had always said she wanted a smart guy to love. He'd improved his grades a few times before to try and win her over, though it hadn't worked. Normally his brother would have been on the homework like moths drawn to a flame, but he wasn't this time. Weird…

"Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" Zack asked, sitting down on the free cushion. Cody twisted his legs to the side and looked at him in disbelief, it was a rare thing indeed when he had to tell his brother to do school work.

"I'll do it later," Cody finally answered in an exasperated tone, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He yawned for a moment, let his hands fall to his chest and closed his eyes just lying there.

"Shouldn't I be doing mine?" This time Cody smiled, a true genuine expression that touched every part of his face except for his closed eyes.

"I'll do it later," He repeated, trying hard not to laugh.

"You wanna play some more?" Zack took a long drink from the Coke and then set it down on the table, fighting to hold back the hiccup that always seemed to come up whenever he drank soda. He failed miserably.

"Not really. I just want to talk with you, anything you want." Zack closed his eyes, thinking for a moment. Finally a week after Maddie's plane crashed, he was having fun and enjoying himself again, and here was Cody being a killjoy. Wait a minute…He did say that it could be anything he wanted. There was indeed something he wanted to talk about, but it was such an off the wall subject that he hadn't brought it up in light of his depression.

"Hard to talk to you when you're about to fall asleep on me," Cody sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, looking at Zack sideways.

"Shoot." Cody reached out to grab his bottled water and started sipping on it.

"How far have you and Barbara gone?" Zack asked bluntly, feeling a sudden warmth crawl up his cheeks. Cody nearly choked on his water hearing the really personal question. He coughed a few times before answering.

"Well...to be blunt…past the point of no return if you know what I mean," Zack wasn't as surprised as he should be by his brother's revelation that he and Barbara had entered into the 'intimate' part of their relationship. They were seventeen after all, but perhaps that was because he'd expected something like this to happen especially with all the weekends when her parents had been away visiting family and the two of them had been spending so much time together. Zack was jealous that Cody had beat him to the punch, though to be fair he'd been going out with Barbara a lot longer than Zack had with Amy, and was also feeling a bit proud of his little brother.

"Protection right?" Cody went completely red with embarrassment and looked at the floor.

"Uh…well…"

"You didn't!" Zack exclaimed, remembering the several lessons that they'd had at school about unprotected sex. He couldn't believe smart and organized Cody would neglect something like that.

"We never though it would go that far!" Cody shot back, wringing his hands. He was obviously completely uncomfortable talking about all of this.

"At least you got that far bro. I'm still working on Amy, had her in my lap just last weekend and she was being very friendly." Zack said, getting off the offensive. Cody shook his head, the color receding from his cheeks.

"Why are we talking about all this?" Cody whined.

"You said you wanted to talk!" Zack retorted, grinning at the fact he was completely embarrassing his brother. He was too easy! Tormenting Cody like this brought back some good old memories from when they were younger and played tricks on each other. He was feeling so much better now and kicked back on the sofa, propping his feet up on the edge of the table interlacing his hands behind his head.

"About…other stuff I meant!"

"Didn't want to talk about Maddie and seeing as I hate school…didn't leave many options." Zack replied getting even more comfortable on the couch, totally relaxing his body.

"Well are you happy now?"

"Feeling pretty normal now, chilling here and talking to my best bud about girls." Cody jumped up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

"Let's watch some T.V. man," He threw a bag of popcorn into the microwave, "America's Funniest Home Videos should be on right now."

Zack switched the television over to cable and turn the appropriate channel on. It was one of the few shows that they actually both liked to watch. Normally Zack would be watching something with a lot of action and destruction, which Cody didn't always totally object to, but his brother was more likely to want to watch something educational on the science or learning channels. Cody paced around the small kitchen while the kernels in the popcorn bag popped noisily, the sent of butter filling the suite.

Neither of them were prepared for the sudden outburst of hasty knocks at their door. Who could it possibly be? It was almost eight o'clock and all of their friends were home for the day. Zack worked himself onto his feet as Cody walked over to the door.

"Who is it?" He called, hand resting on the doorknob.

"Mr. Moseby," Came the gruff voice of the Tipton's manager. He always seemed so serious and strict, but there were times when he could be fun as well. This apparently wasn't one of those times. What had they done this time to get into trouble? It's not as if they were engineering the same kind of mayhem that they used to in those first couple of years that they'd been living there. If anything they had both been pretty quiet for the past several months as they became more and more involved with their girlfriends. Cody opened the door for the man, the look on his twins' face mirroring Zack's thoughts.

"Boys I need you to come with me immediately to the hospital," Mr. Moseby said without preamble. Confusion settled in on Zack. What was this about?

"What's happened?" Cody asked before Zack could ask the question himself.

"Your mother collapsed during her performance. The EMT's couldn't wake her, so they've taken her to the hospital for emergency care." Cody staggered back slightly, bumping into Zack who stood there still as a statue. His mind, which had been so clear and happy before, seemed to become jammed with traffic. Mom had collapsed? He suddenly felt the overpowering need to see her, to hug her and have her tell him that everything would be alright. Moseby collected the twin's jackets from the back of the sofa where they had been hanging and lead them out the door and to the elevator.

It would be many hours later, after Moseby had taken them to the emergency room to wait while Doctor's worked to revive Carey Martin, that they would learn the horrible truth of their mother's condition. She was alive, but she wouldn't stay that way for long the Doctor's said. Her early prognosis was that she was suffering from an advanced stage of some kind of cancer. It had been silently killing her all these years…and only now had it chosen to rear its' ugly head.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Whew, another chapter out the door. I liked this one a lot. My goal was to really get some more bonding done with Zack between Amy and Cody. I gave both characters their own scenes alone (mostly) with Zack and also a shared one showing how much Zack's friends cared about him. I also wanted to put in something a little more mature with Cody while keeping the content rating the same, so I left a lot of it up to the reader's imagination hehe. Sadly though, you have to remember that this is a tragedy and that all of this bonding is for a good reason to advance the plot later on. It will be a little while before I have another chapter up, work is killing me. Stay tuned, and please review.

**Chapter 3: Not Your Fault** - The suite and simple life Zachary Martin has been living seems to have completely dumped him on his head these past few weeks. Madeline Fitzpatrick has perished in a horrible plane crash on her way to college on the other side of America. His brother Cody Martin is doing some really adult things these days and now the latest event of his suddenly tumultuous life has his mother in the hospital with possible cancer and a grim outlook on the future. He's only just started to recover from the loss of Maddie, and yet before he can begin to come to grips with the fact that his mother may be on her death bed, the grim reaper comes calling once more.


	4. Not Your Fault

**Chapter 3**

"**Not Your Fault"**

"Cody has been my best friend and biggest help in all things great and small that concern me. Whenever I'm bored or down, he's there for me. He's such a selfless person, giving without thought of reward. Though lately I've noticed we're growing apart as we become interested in different things, people and girls. We still have good times together, but they're becoming less frequent than they used to be. It bothers me at times how we're becoming different as we grow up, but I have to keep reminding myself that someday we truly will be apart. Thankfully I have Amy to help fill the gap left by my brother and together the two of them make me feel really special sometimes. I love them both so much." – Personal Thoughts, Zachary Martin

_I'll never let you down  
Even if I could  
I'd give up everything  
If only for your good  
So hold me when I'm here  
Right me when I'm wrong  
You can hold me when I'm scared  
You won't always be there  
So love me when I'm gone_

"_When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down_

Warmth filled every inch of Zack's body as he awoken by the gentle rays of golden sunlight streaming in from the window in his room, the blinds being half open. Everything was so incredibly quiet except for Amy's gentle breathing. She was asleep next to him, her head resting against his bare chest. They'd finally gone past the "point of no return" as Cody had described it. It had been a bit awkward for the two of them, being their first time and all, but as the night went on they'd gotten over it. Zack had been a bit hesitant about it, Amy had been shy but determined, though eventually their desires for each other took control of them.

It was Saturday morning now, and the suite was so devoid of the sounds he was so accustomed to hearing that it bothered Zack. It had been hard living here the past week without his mother, who was still recovering at the hospital, but at least he had had Cody to keep him company and help maintain some sense of normalcy. Now though, Cody was away for the weekend, having been invited to the Brownstein's cabin up at Lake George. Barbara's parents absolutely loved Cody! They were so happy that their lovely brilliant daughter had found a smart, sensitive and nice guy as a boyfriend. Zack doubted that her parents really even knew half of what those two were up to these days. He smirked at the thought, now knowing what it was like, and rolled out of bed careful not to disturbed Amy.

Zack quickly got dressed in the same clothes he'd worn last night which had been lying haphazardly on the floor where he'd thrown them last night. Amy didn't mind that he did this, which made her so much different from other girls, as most of her peers would balk at his decision to wear the same clothes for several days. He left his bedroom without disturbing her and plopped down on the couch in the living room.

It felt so cold now that Zack shivered, instantly missing the warmth he'd felt by Amy's side. His body longed to go back and lie next to her, but his mind was demanding a time out to think things over. She'd have to leave in a few hours he noted, glancing at the wall clock nearby, to head home. Amy had lied to her parents, saying that she'd arranged a sleepover with one of her best friends and had instead spent the night with Zack once Cody left that afternoon with Barbara and her parents. There was some birthday party for one of her other friends that she had to go this evening and had to get back home to get ready for.

Abruptly Zack got up and went into the bathroom, feeling an overwhelming desire to take a hot shower. He shirked off all of his clothes, wondering why he had bothered to put them on in the first place. As he stepped into the bathtub and drew the shower curtain closed, he wondered why he felt like he had to do this. He'd enjoyed everything that he and Amy had done last night, and he loved her so very much, but now he felt really dirty and grubby for some reason.

As the hot spray hit him, Zack simply sat down in the tub letting the water drench his blond hair, matting it to his head. Water slithered down from his hair, over his face and onto his lips where his tongue could just barely taste the smell of his hair. He closed his eyes as the water rushed into them, just enjoyed the warm fingers of liquid caressing his body.

He knew that he should be elated right now, not just because of his love for Amy and their relationship, but because what he'd just done had been a major milestone on his road to manhood. Maybe he was sad because he was moving farther and farther away from the simplicity of being a child, and this had been the biggest leap yet. The future, the unknown, scared Zack the most. It seemed that the farther he moved away from his childhood innocence the harder he tried to hold onto it and the more it slipped through his fingers.

Eventually Zack shut off the water and got out of the shower, he'd drawn the line when his fingers started pruning, drying himself off on an oversized towel. He felt clean now, even though he hadn't really done anything more than just sit under the spray, and it was almost like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It seemed that just admitting to himself that he was scared of the future made him feel a lot better. Maybe it had nothing to do with the shower at all.

He went back to his bedroom only to find Amy awake waiting for him. She was only half under the sheets, her upper body exposed to his eyes. It was a weird feeling for Zack now, knowing that he could look at her body like that. His mother had instilled a respect for women into him, and despite his status in school as a 'player', this was the first time he'd actually been naked around an equally naked girl. It was a little weird to him still, but he was learning to like it.

"Come back to bed baby," Amy whispered, drawing him in with her lovely eyes. He dropped his towel on the floor and crawled back under the sheets next to her. Amy rolled over on top of him, her head resting on his chest. Waves of pleasure rolled through his body and she noticed it.

"I love you Zack. I wish I could stay right here like this all day with you," she whispered, her warm breath making the nearly invisible blond hairs on his chest stand on end.

"So don't go to the party," Zack replied, closing his eyes and gently running his hands down the length of her silky smooth back. She was so soft, and so warm! Her whole body seemed to shake with her answering laugh.

"Maria is my best friend. She'd disown me if I didn't go."

"Fine, but just stay here a little bit longer."

"Ok."

* * *

The door to Carey Martin's recovery room at the hospital opened three hours later and in walked a handsome young man with shaggy blond hair and sharp blue-green eyes unused to showing emotion. It was Zack of course, here to visit his mother. He'd neglected to come by yesterday because he was with Amy and now with her gone and Cody out of town, he didn't know what else to do with himself.

"Mom?" He asked softly, approaching his mother's bedside and sitting down next to her sleeping form. There were so many things he wanted to ask her about life, and things about his own life that he wanted to tell her. The possibility that her advanced cancer might kill her soon threw into perspective that he did not have all the time in the world to put off talking to her. But then again, it was hard for Zack to talk to his mother of all people about his feelings let alone anyone else. He just wasn't the emotional kind of guy, well except around Amy, but that was a different area of emotions altogether.

Zack had come here not only to visit his mother, but because he was depressed again. It seemed like whenever he wasn't spending time with Amy or Cody, he started feeling down. Losing Maddie had been a shock, but her loss paled in comparison to how he would feel if he lost his mother too. Nothing could replace the love of a mother, and as much as he brushed it off when she tried to show it to him, he secretly enjoyed it. He could act all big and bad to be the macho guy, but deep down Zack really just wanted attention and to be loved. It was all just a mask he'd been wearing for so many years of his life, and now that mask was starting to slip off to reveal his true kindhearted self.

Sometime during his thought process, Carey had opened her eyes halfway to look up at him. Whether she heard his voice from when he entered or merely sensed his presence, Zack would never know. When he noticed her looking at, he leaned over sideways and gave her a hug.

"Hi sweetie," Carey whispered in a raspy voice, she hadn't talked in several days as she had been sleeping most of the time. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her, "Oh my big strong boy, you're growing up so fast. I remember when you were just a little trooper like it was yesterday." The old Zack might have pulled away at this overwhelming display of affection, but the new one savored it.

"How are you feeling mom?" Zack asked, sitting up again as his mother finally let go of him. She looked in really bad shape and was very pale. It was a stupid question to ask really…

"The doctors won't give me a straight answer, but I feel fine for now. Just a little tired," She replied, pausing to stifle a yawn, "The question is, what are you doing here on a beautiful Saturday afternoon? Shouldn't you be hanging out with Cody, Amy or your friends?"

"They're all busy right now. But that's what I wanted to talk to you about…" Carey seemed to perk up a little bit upon hearing that. It was a rare that her older son wanted to have a talk with her, so rare that she could count the number of times on one hand. It was always when he was going through a tough time in his life, and usually it was something he should be talking about with his father who wasn't there. Kurt Martin was on tour with his band across America, advancing his career and making enough money that he could send some to her to help pay for the things that they boys needed.

"Let me guess. You're still upset over Maddie, worried about your mother and there's something going on between you and Cody." Zack never ceased to be amazed by how well his mother could read him when he was upset.

"Yeah."

"So tell me what's on your mind honey." And so Zack told her everything. He told her all about how Maddie's death left a seemingly endless void inside of him. He told her how much he was scared of losing his mother…and then, after asking for her confidences, told her what her sons were up to with their girlfriends.

"I'm sorry…" Zack whispered, hanging his head in shame momentarily. Carey was temporarily speechless as her mind worked out the information bomb he had just dropped on her. When he looked back up at her, she seemed to go from being angry and embarrassed to being happy. There were some things about his mother that he would never understand…

"Oh Zack it's ok. You and Cody are young men now. It was bound to happen sometime." Carey laughed halfheartedly, her eyelids closing as she relaxed back onto her bed.

"You're not mad at us?"

"Of course not sweetie. Now come lie down with your mom and cuddle like you used to when you were a little kid. Let me hold my baby one more time before he is forever claimed by the adventure of manhood," Zack hesitated for a moment, but decided that he didn't care what anyone thought if they saw him and lied down next to his mother. She draped an arm over him and held him close like a mother protecting her child from the dangers of the world. He didn't realize how sleepy he was and was surprised when his eyelids started to grow heavy.

"I love you," Carey whispered as she drifted off to sleep.

"I love you too mom."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey! I'm back with another chapter. It's been awhile. Really busy these days. I decided to shorten Zack and Carey's scene a little bit and toss out the third part of this chapter to get what you see here published. The missing part is going to be it's own chapter between my original idea for 3 and 4 now. No grim reaper here, but trust me he'll be back! Hope you enjoyed this chapter of bonding between Zack and Amy/Carey, it's the last of the happy chapters and sets the stage for Zack's downfall we see in the beginning of the story. Stay tuned!

P.S. Either this story or Just Visiting will have the next update. Totally stalled on my idea for Chaos Demons =(

**Coming Up - Chapter 4: A Nightmare To Remember**

When Maddie died, Zack didn't see it happen. When Carey Martin succumbed to her illness, Zack didn't see it happen. He won't see what happens next either, but that doesn't mean it wont destroy him any less than before.


	5. A Nightmare To Remember

**Chapter 4**

**A Nightmare To Remember**

Zack woke up slowly, feeling incredibly warm and comfortable lying at his sick mothers' side. His head was momentarily in a fog as he looked around the dark recovery room, the last moments of his dream fading from him into the oblivion where he'd never be able to recall what he had been dreaming about in the deep sleep that he'd been in for the past few hours. The dream had been about the twin's first day at the Tipton hotel, the first place they had actually felt like a home with the stability of the same people, friends, schools and places all the time. Living on the road and moving from place to place had been a tiresome experience for the boys.

Gently rolling out of bed, careful not to disturb his sleeping mother, Zack realized he'd been resting under a blanket, probably placed there by one of the nurses checking up on Carey. He smiled at the thought of how the nurse must have reacted seeing them together as he walked towards the window. It was indeed night outside, but not very late as there were still a lot of people moving around on the ground.

"I'll come back later Mom," Zack whispered, turning around to leave the room. He blinked rapidly in the harsh white light of the hallway just outside and stood there in front of his mother's door for several seconds trying to adjust his vision to it.

For the first time since Maddie's death, Zack felt content in his life, thinking that the worst was over and everything would work out for the better from here on out. He had his whole life ahead of him, people who cared deeply about him and a future that was his to create for himself. Thoughts of marrying Amy one day and having children with her came to the forefront of his mind. He realized how funny that thought seemed, as not even a month ago he would have considered the whole notion silly. But then…he'd been immature back then. Dealing with death had made him grow up a lot in a very short amount of time.

Before he knew it, Zack was right outside the hospital sitting on a bench next to a bus stop to catch a ride home. His phone started vibrating in his jacket pocket incessantly. Pulling it out, he read off the caller's name on the outer screen of the phone and then flipped it open to answer.

"Sup Codester?" Zack asked, feeling strangely happy to be talking to his brother once again. He'd only been gone two days up at the lake, but it felt like weeks to him. It reminded him of the time when Cody went off to Math camp and he had been so miserable without his twin brother that he'd staged a 'rescue' attempt with London and Muriel to bring him home. 'You know we will be apart someday,' Cody had told him when he'd arrived at Math camp, unwilling to leave it and come home with his brother.

"Hey Zack, not much. Just getting ready to leave tomorrow morning really. What are you up to?" There was a lot of background noise on Cody's end, making it hard to hear his words.

"I was just visiting Mom. Amy's at a birthday party with her friends. I'm bored dude!"

"You're not going to come up here and rescue me are you?" Zack smirked, shaking his head in wonderment that Cody was thinking about the same event in time as he had been. It had to be their twin telepathy at work.

"Nah dude, I'll be ok without you." A chill ran down Zack's spine after saying that, but he shrugged it off. It was cold outside after all.

"So how is mom?" Cody inquired, the noise on his end subsiding.

"She's doing better. She was happy to see me today and we talked for awhile," He replied, leaning back and getting as comfortable as possible on the wooden bench as he could. The eight o'clock bus was late as usual.

"That's good. I'll come visit her right after school on Monday," Only Cody could sound excited about going to school…

"I'll come with you," Zack said, looking forward to seeing the look of happiness in his mother's eyes when she saw both of her boys checking up on her.

"You sure?

"Mom needs us both right now," Again Zack's newfound maturity was rearing its head.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Cody sighed. A long pause followed between them, but he knew the call hadn't dropped since he could still hear the faint static in the transmission and occasionally his brother's slow breathing.

"…..Cody," Zack inquired tentatively.

"Yeah…" Another pause followed Cody's reply, then he continued, "It's ok Zack, this talking thing is new for the both of us."

"Right…" He agreed, realizing he had nothing else to talk about right now which was creating the awkwardness. It was time to find an excuse to end the conversation, but before he could do this, there was a sudden commotion on his brother's end.

"WHOA!" Cody yelped as Zack heard noises that could only be heavy objects crashing into something just before the phone emitted a high pitch squeal and the call dropped. Zack pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at its display is dismay 'Call Lost', before hitting his speed dial to call his brother and make sure that he was alright. The call went right to Cody's voicemail. Something was wrong.

Zack put his phone back into his pocket and sat up slightly, running his hand through his blond hair as his mind changed gears from puzzlement to worry. Cody was up at the lake packing to come home, he wasn't in any danger…was he? If only he had Barbara's phone number, or one of her friends, so that he could call her and find out what was going on up there.

In the distance he heard the wail of a siren rapidly closer. Zack looked down the street as an ambulance raced towards him heading for the emergency entrance. There was a second one following just behind the first as well. He couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, so much was wrong with this world and bad things happened to so many good people. It was then that he understood his brother's desire to attain a profession that could help people in need, such as a doctor. Maybe that's what Zack would do with his life when he grew up…he hadn't given his future much thought, but that idea seemed comforting to him in an odd way.

Zack stood up and paced back and forth from the hospital's public entrance to the bus stop, it still hadn't gotten there. When he was making his way towards the hospital again, he could just barely spot the EMT's unloading the injured people on the ambulances. He couldn't really make out the details, but he knew that both of them were women. He wondered what had happened to them. Victims of a senseless crime perhaps? His blood started boiling just thinking about it. If anyone had ever harmed Amy, he'd go after the son of a bitch with no self restraint.

"Such a shame about those girls," a voice snapped Zack out of his angry line of thought. He glanced around to see a couple of nurses walking towards him towards the bus stop.

"What happened?" the other nurse asked the one who had spoken first.

"They were going home from a birthday party when a drunk driver hit them head on." Zack felt a chill run down his spine as he stood there rooted to the spot. He was just being silly wasn't he? There could be tons of people having birthday parties tonight in a city as big as Boston. There was no logical reason for him to immediately think that his Amy might be in danger.

The bus finally showed up and Zack got on board with the two nurses from the hospital. He was still a little disturbed by what they had said moments ago, but tried to keep it from getting to him. Amy wasn't answering her phone, but that didn't really mean anything. If she was having a lot of fun with her friends, she might not even notice it going off. Heck, half the time she left it on vibrate from school and never got around to turning the ringer back on.

The bus pulled to a stop near Amy's apartment complex where she lived with her parents and little brother. Zack impulsively got off the bus and made his way over to where she lived. She was supposed to be home in about an hour, two at the very most, so maybe he'd just hang around to surprise her when she got home. Her parents liked him a lot, they wouldn't mind a visit from him.

He walked up to the third floor and knocked on the door of Amy's apartment. There was a lot of commotion on the other side, and the door was suddenly whipped open. Amy's father stood there, looking at him as if trying to recognize him. Just behind him, Amy's mother and brother were putting shoes on and gathering up stuff from various countertops and tables. It looked like they were about to go somewhere.

"Zack, you'd better come with us." Amy's father said in a grave tone as he pushed past Zack and out the door with the rest of his family in tow.

"What's the matter sir?" Amy's parents looked at him, but both of them seemed too choked up to answer. Michael, Amy's little brother, answered instead.

"Amy's been in a car accident…"

* * *

**A/N**

Oh god no... On top of Maddie's untimely death and Carey's sudden battle with cancer, Zack finds out that Amy's been in a car wreck. Just how bad was it? Is she ok? Did he really see the paramedics unload her at the hospital just moments before finding out what had happened?

And then...what happened to Cody? It sounded like something crashed just before his phone cut out. Cody's not answering, Zack can't get ahold of him at all. Is Cody alright up at the lake, or did disaster strike him at the same time as Amy?

What awaits Zachary in the next chapter?

What will become of Amy and Cody?

The story is winding down to it's conclusion...

Stay tuned!


	6. Body Without Soul

**Chapter 5**

**"Body Without Soul"**

_You've got to find your balance  
You've got to realize  
You've got to try to find what's right before your eyes  
And if you find you've fallen  
And all your grace is gone  
Just scream for me and I'll be what you're falling on_

_"Falling On" by Finger Eleven_

Amy didn't really look that bad, all things considered, Zack thought as he sat beside her bed holding her hand. She'd been in the passenger seat when the accident happened. Her seatbelt had saved her initially only to unintentionally cause serious injury when Amy's head had whip lashed against the car seat and was then thrown forward into the windshield. She was in stable condition for the time being, but was still unconscious.

On the other side of the bed Amy's mother had fallen asleep at her daughter's side while watching over her since her father was away talking to the doctor in charge. Amy's head was wrapped in bandages and she was wearing a neck brace to keep her head from moving.

Zack had feared the worst when he found out about the accident the night before and a cold chill had washed over him. Things just hadn't been going right in his life lately and this event was just too much too soon for him to handle emotionally. He'd been quiet and closed off the whole time that he was waiting at the hospital before he was allowed to see Amy. Zack had been on the verge of losing it, trying to hold back his emotions from cascading out of control. It was such a huge relief to find out that she was alive, now all he had to do was to stay with her and be there when she woke up.

Timothy, Amy's father, entered the room quietly not wishing to disturb his sleeping wife and daughter. His eyes briefly met Zack's and it was then that Zack knew there was something wrong. Tim's eyes were red and bloodshot and he was as pale as a ghost. Zack let go of Amy's hand, gently setting it down on the bed, as he stood up to walk around and talk to her father.

"It's so hard…" Tim whispered to him, bringing a hand up to his face as he started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, that cold feeling of dread creeping over him again. Jezebel, Amy's mother, had woken up and looked up at her husband deeply concerned.

"The doctor says…" he paused as he choked up and then continued shakily, "The doctor says that there is uncontrollable bleeding inside her head and…she's brain dead. She'll never wake up…" Tim fell to his knees as Jezebel slid out of her seat to embrace him. They were both crying, both trying to tell each other that this couldn't happen and cursing the unfairness of it all. Their daughter was a body without a soul now. An empty shell that would never wake again, never smile at a happy memory, never see the bright future that had been laid out before her, never again to love her family and friends…never to know anything anymore…

Everything became a blur after that. Zack wasn't quite sure what had happened. He knew that there was a lot of crying, a lot of sadness, talking to Amy to try and get her to respond to his voice and then an uncontrollable anger that made his blood boil just thinking about those responsible for this crime. He wanted to hurt someone, to make them feel as he did. He wanted to break things, smash and destroy them just to take out his anger on something.

Zack ran away into the cool night. He couldn't stand being around the human shell that was his girlfriend and her grieving family. He finally ended up back in his room at the Tipton where he collapsed onto his bed face first and cried himself to sleep. He would find out what had become of Amy only later on.

At 8:05pm Timothy and Jezebel decided to have their daughter taken off life support at the advisement of the doctor in charge. They didn't want to prolong her suffering and pain. It was to them the only humane thing that they could do for her.

At 8:34pm Amy was taken off life support.

At 8:36pm Amy's heart rate drastically slowed down and her breathing became extremely labored.

At 8:37pm Amy flat lined.

At 8:38pm Amy was pronounced dead.

* * *

Zack awoke a few hours later, feeling extremely thirsty and still drowsy. His body felt light and he was completely comfortable, his head resting on one side. He could feel a wet spot just under his cheek, where his tears had soaked into his comforter, and felt the salty residue on his face. He lay there for a moment longer, savoring the peacefulness and comfort of the moment, willing himself not to think of his girlfriend because it would only bring more pain. He'd had enough of pain lately.

There was movement nearby. Something had woken him up after all. He'd just assumed he'd regained consciousness because his body wasn't really tired. Zack rolled over onto his back and sat up, looking around the dark room. The bedroom doorway was open a crack letting in a tiny bit of light from beyond it. He heard the water running from the sink in the bathroom shut off and then the light snapped off. Soft footsteps could be heard closing the distance from the bathroom to the bedroom.

It was hard to see in the near absolute darkness as the moon wasn't out tonight and the only source of light came from an alarm clock and both of the twin's laptop's glowing status lights. It took a moment for Zack to realize who was in the room with him, but when he did, he immediately felt a hundred percent better.

"Cody!" His twin stumbled in surprise and fell on his own bed.

"Jeez Zack don't scare me like that!" Cody said aloud.

"Sorry…"

"Nah I'm sorry. I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake you up," He apologized softly. Zack got up, crossed the room and plopped down beside his brother. With all that was going on in his life now, he wanted to be close to his twin who provided him a stable grounding in reality. Cody had always been there his entire life and when he was around him Zack felt like everything would work itself out.

"You're ok. I'm glad you're ok actually. I was worried about you when your phone went nuts," Zack said, remembering Cody's yelp of surprise and then crashing noises followed by a high pitched squeal before losing the call.

"Ah yeah, I took a little fall while helping Barbara's parents pack up some stuff at the lake and my phone smashed on the stone floor by the fireplace," Cody explained.

"Always the klutz," Zack chided his brother, feeling relieved that he could still make little jokes. Displaying his own sense of humor somehow made him feel a little bit better.

"Have you been crying?" Cody asked suddenly, his warm fingertips touching Zack on the cheek where he felt the salty trails of his tears still etched into his skin.

"Yeah Codes…"

"What's wrong?" Zack had asked the same question of Tim earlier that night, just before he'd found out the horrible truth. Such irony.

"That's exactly what I asked Amy's father just before…before…" Zack didn't want to continue, stuttering over his last couple of words.

"…before what?" Cody prompted.

"Amy's dead Cody. She's DEAD!" Zack cried in despair and then hung his head in sadness. He felt Cody's arm gently wrap around his shoulders and draw him closer.

"Tell me what happened," There was no surprise, no disbelief in Cody's voice just a calm and soothing tone that relaxed him enough to tell Cody what had happened. The retelling of Amy's story was sad and short lived. When it was over, Zack broke down completely and in the darkness of their shared bedroom where no one could see them Cody held Zack for the longest time to comfort him.

When Zack had calmed down and regained control of himself, Cody helped him back over to his own bed. He'd been yawning in between sobs just a moment ago and now he had to fight to stay awake. Telling Cody about Amy seemed to have drained all the energy from him and he was once again exhausted.

"Get some sleep Zack. We'll figure this out in the morning…" Zack settled down in his bed and lay still for awhile, his eyes remained open however, staring out into the darkness of the room. He was tired, but his mind was still at work thinking about the night's events. Try as hard as he might, he couldn't turn it off. Then he thought of his twin and the happier times they shared which completely derailed his thoughts about Amy. He realized just how lucky he was to have a person like Cody in his life.

"Cody…?" Zack queried, his head turning slightly to look across the room.

"Yeah Zack?" Came his brother's reply from the dark void that swallowed up the other side of the room.

"I couldn't have asked for a better brother," Cody was quiet for a moment, Zack knew that he was slightly overwhelmed at this statement. It wasn't often that he thanked his twin for the things he did or told him that he actually did care about him. Cody was finally realizing that Zack was returning the care and concern that he always had for him. It was something he didn't mind getting used too. Being appreciated and loved by your family…there was no better kind of feeling.

"I love you too Zack, now get some sleep."

* * *

**A/N:** Well there goes Chapter 5, I hope you all enjoyed it.

Zack's greatest fear has come to pass…Amy is slowly dying, she's in pain and she'll never wake up again. Her parents take her off life support to end the pain and just like that she's gone.

Cody is ok however, and this lifts Zack's spirits after having worried that something may have happened to his twin. The two of them talk and Cody comforts Zack in one of his darkest hours yet. Cody is always there for him, and always has been. As long as he is there with him, Zack will be able to endure this tragedy and the others hard as it might be.

So where does Zack go from here? What can Cody do to help him get on with life?

And most important of all...what is the old Grim Reaper up to now? Has he already set in motion the events that will strike another blow to Zack's heart or does he have something even more sinister planned?

Stay Tuned!


	7. Fallen Star

**Chapter 6**

**"Fallen Star"**

_  
I can't escape the pain  
I can't control the rage  
Sometimes I think that I'm gonna go insane  
I'm not against what's right  
I'm not for what's wrong  
I'm just making my way and I'm gone_

_"Fly From The Inside" by Shinedown_

The morning after Amy had died found Zack lying on his bed wide awake. He had his hands interlocked under his head as he looked up at the off while ceiling above him. He was trying to zone out now that he couldn't sleep anymore. Sleep seemed to be his only escape from the pain of losing his loved ones and even that wouldn't come to him now so he resigned himself to what he was doing now. He was trying to shut out all of his other senses as he stared intently into empty space. It was working for awhile until something snapped him out of it.

Bacon? Zack was confused as the smell of one of his favorite breakfast foods entered his nostrils. Where the hell was that coming from? Now he could hear the television on in the living room and a commotion in the kitchen. Curious, Zack rolled off and out of his bed to investigate. He stopped to stretch, standing on his tiptoes as he tried to reach the ceiling and yawned loudly. Man he felt so much better after that.

Upon leaving his room, his eyes were drawn to the kitchen where Cody was tending to a couple of frying pans on the mini stove and pulling plates out of the cabinets. Although his brother liked to cook, it just wasn't like him to make a full blown meal for breakfast. Usually cereal or a pop tart would suffice, especially when they were running behind in the morning because of Zack dragging his feet in the morning. He was NOT a morning person at all.

"Just in time! Morning Zack," Cody greeted him, starting to pile scrambled eggs and bacon onto three plates. Three plates? It was then Zack noticed that his mother was home again. She got up off the couch where she'd been watching the television and came over to give him a hug. Carey held him for a long time, not wanting to let go of him, her head resting against his unkempt blond hair. Cody meanwhile finished setting the table, pretending not to take notice.

"Oh Zack, I'm so sorry," Carey said softly to him. Zack inwardly groaned. He didn't want to think about his girlfriend because…and there was the pain flowing through him, rearing its ugly head. He fought back the stinging tears trying to flow from his eyes.

"Mom can we please not talk about it right now?" He choked, trying to pull away from her now that he was feeling uncomfortable. She kissed him on the cheek and let him go. She was crying a bit too, almost as though Zack's pain had gotten into her too.

"Of course honey, I love you so much," Zack wanted to tell her the same thing back, but his heart just wasn't in it right now that the memories and images of Amy lying in a hospital bed came up to the surface of his mind, "Come sit down, Cody made us a nice breakfast."

"So when did you get back Mom?" Zack asked, sitting down and taking a sip of the orange juice Cody had poured for them all.

"Only a couple of hours ago, Mr. Moseby picked me up after the hospital released me. He said it was on his way to work and wasn't a problem."

"Except that Moseby lives on the opposite side of town," Cody put in to point out that the Tipton's manager had gone out of his way to help a friend and employee.

"It was sweet of him," Carey added.

"How come you didn't wake me up mom?" Zack asked, finishing the last few bites of his eggs. They were incredible as usual, Cody definitely had a way with food.

"I tried honey, but you didn't want to get up and then Cody told me…told me to let you sleep," He picked up on the pause in her words. He knew what Cody had really told her then and it had probably upset her so badly that her son was in severe emotional anguish that she'd let him get his rest.

"Oh…" He replied simply, letting his fork drop back to his plate with a soft clanging noise, grabbing a piece of bacon between his fingers.

"So I called your school today and told them you both would be taking a short leave of absence. You guys need some time to yourselves and for once I don't mind the company," Carey joked. Cody looked a little bothered by this, but Zack was entirely grateful for it. Here at home he could just deal with his feelings and memories. At school he'd just be bombarded with people's sympathy and pity, things that he felt for sure would only make him feel worse right now. Maybe he'd need those things later, but not right now.

"So what are you guys going to do today?" Carey asked when the boys didn't respond to her about missing school. Cody shrugged, not knowing what he wanted to do, while Zack just shook his head. He was at the point where he was just like a zombie, following the lead of another wherever they were going to take him, his free will seemingly absent. He'd do whatever Cody did today, and if his brother did nothing well then he would do nothing too!

"It's hard to know what to do when your life has been turned upside down," Zack finally muttered, getting up from the table and putting his dishes in the sink. Cody collected their mother's plate and did the same.

"Well, when you want to talk, I'll be right out here," Carey said to him, getting up and going back to the couch to rest. Despite being released from the hospital, she was still really weak and tired all of the time. That much Zack could clearly see, and it only made him feel worse seeing his mother like that. The one time all powerful mom he had grown up with as a child reduced to a wreck because of the cancer eating at her.

* * *

Many hours later Zack was sitting at his computer desk surfing on the internet aimlessly. He wasn't trying to do anything productive, nor was he really reading anything, he was just doing something mindlessly simple to keep himself busy. Glancing over his shoulder, Zack noticed that Cody had fallen asleep with the book he'd been reading resting on his chest still open to the page he'd been on. That explained why he wasn't talking to him anymore. Out in the living room, Zack could still hear the television, though the volume was way down now and he figured that his mom was sleeping again.

Some random force inexplicably made him navigate to Amy's MySpace page. Zack's rapid and pointless surfing came to a halt as he looked over her page. Her mood was 'In Love' and her status was 'Out Partying'. It would always be like that now, never to change. Her last actions on the website to modify those things, never knowing the tragedy that awaited her. Scrolling down Zack saw that some of Amy's friends had already posted messages from the heart, telling her that they loved her and would miss her greatly, hoping that wherever she was now it was a happier place. Then there were other friends who hadn't yet heard about the car crash who were asking what was going on and then still more friends breaking the bad news.

He didn't want to read any more and jumped over to Amy's Facebook profile. He became fixated on her profile picture for awhile, remembering when it was taken. In the picture Zack was dressed up in the best suit that he owned looking like the perfect gentleman next to the gorgeous Amy in her beautiful dark blue dress. They'd been dancing at the school dance. Normally Zack dreaded events like those, lacking a date and all in his fruitless attempts to win Maddie's heart, but that night was different. He'd lost himself that night. It had been one of the best times of his life.

Zack quickly became annoyed by the picture. He had such a stupid smile on his face. How could he ever have been so happy? Amy's smile didn't even look genuine, more like she'd just been posing for the camera to make a good picture of the happy couple. There were so many positive comments on the picture, telling her how beautiful she was, how handsome he was and what a good couple they made. They were nice sentiments, but they somehow sickened Zack and he closed out the browser.

He sighed loudly and pushed away from the computer. Zack slowly paced back and forth for a few moments before plopping down on his bed and running his hands through his hair, pulling on it slightly till he felt physical pain. Dammit! He hated this, hated all of this. He was so confused, hurt and angry all at the same time that Zack didn't know whether he was coming or going.

Out in the living room their phone started ringing. Zack got up to answer it, figuring he was the only one awake. Cody stirred as if he was going to get up and get it himself, but when he saw Zack walk out of the room he settled back down. Carey was out like a light on the couch. The ringer went off a fourth time, making Zack a little angry. He was coming dammit!

"Hello?"

"Hi, I'm trying to reach the Martin residence," came the voice of the man on the other end of the line.

"You've got it," Zack said disinterestedly.

"I'm calling in regards about Kurt Martin,"

"He's my dad. I'm Zack Martin," Zack perked up a little bit, now he was interested.

"Is your mom there right now?"

"Yeah, but she's really sick right now. What's this all about?"

"I'm Lieutenant David Keller with the Houston Texas Police Department. I think you'd better sit down son, I have some bad news." Bad news? But Zack didn't know anyone in Texas…he couldn't think of anything that would affect him all the way down there. His whole family was here in New York, well except for Dad when he was out traveling the country on tour with his band. Wait a minute…The cold chill was back.

"Your dad had a sudden heart attack while he was performing on stage here in Houston and was taken to the emergency room," Lt. Keller continued, breaking his bad news to an already emotionally distraught Zack.

"Oh my god no…Is he alright?" Why did he bother asking? He should have known by now. Any bad news, even the tiniest bit, meant that someone else he knew and loved had been taken from him.

"I'm sorry son…he didn't make it." Zack's whole world stopped. He just stood there frozen on the spot, not moving, not listening anymore to the man on the phone. Something was stirring deep down inside of him, it was like the building explosion of a volcano that sent numerous tremors into the surrounding area. He heard a rushing noise in his ears as the emotions came bubbling up to the surface. He'd already exhausted his sadness and grief. All that was left to him now was pure rage. He was angry. He was livid at the cosmic forces that were doing this to him, taking away all of his loved ones but now it had gone too far.

Up to this point only his friend and his love had been taken from him, but now it was a parent. The man who had helped raise him into the person he was today. The man who sacrificed so much for him without asking for anything in return. The man who gave him his love unconditionally and enjoyed being around him. No…this was going too far. Well beyond being sad. Well beyond crying. Zack was pissed!

With a primal scream of rage Zack threw the cordless phone as hard as he could against the kitchen wall where it shattered into a dozen pieces. He made his way over to the remains of the poor device, found the largest surviving piece of it and stomped it into oblivion. He spun around and knocked the frying pans Cody had used to make breakfast onto the kitchen's tile floor and then punched one of the cabinets, cracking the wood and bruising his knuckles. Zack stood there seething for a moment, the anger he felt now making his entire body shake uncontrollably, as his mom and Cody came rushing over to try and figure out what was going on.

"Zachary!" Carey exclaimed, looking at the destroyed phone and broken cabinet. It was rare for him to display behavior as destructive as this. The level of violence surprised her.

"Calm down Zack…" Cody started, but Zack turned on him and made him stop mid-sentence just by looking at him.

"Calm!?" Zack shouted, "How the HELL can I be calm? Dad's DEAD! Everyone I love is dying left and right god dammit! Calm?" Zack's voice rose louder and louder the angrier he got, but his last word was choked out as his voice suddenly cracked. He walked around his mother and brother as they stood there in shocked silence and made his way out of the suite. He needed to get away. He needed to go somewhere where he could think.

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm, didn't see that one coming did we? Zack has no more room for sadness and grief in his heart, only anger for all the bad things happening to all of the people he loves and cares about. His anger erupts in an explosion of violence and after he takes out his aggression he stalks out to get away from everything for a little while. This chapter isn't really complete, it's supposed to contain the scene where Zack is doing his thinking but I've decided to push out this chapter sooner and had to cut it out. Don't worry, I'm moving it into the start of Chapter 7 and retooling that entire chapter altogether, which will end up extending the story a little bit more than originally planned (in a good way though).

I think this is one of my best written chapters since the Prolouge and Chapter 1, but I'll let you all be the judge of that. Please review and tell me what you think! It motivates me to keep going and push updates out faster. Wyntirsno's recent reviews and PM's made me write almost all of Chapter 6 (minus the scene I cut) right after I posted Chapter 5. I was just waiting to finish the scene I cut to put it up.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for **Chapter 7: Brother's Forever**


	8. Brothers Forever PART 1

**Chapter 7**

**"Brother's Forever - PART 1"**

_Please don't cry  
One tear for me  
I'm not afraid of  
What I have to say  
This is my one and  
Only voice  
So listen close, it's  
Only for today_

_"Second Chance" by Shinedown_

It seemed like several hours later, even though in reality it was just a scant few minutes, that Cody found Zack atop the Tipton. He would rarely go up there, but whenever something was deeply bothering him this was the place he chose to get away from everything and everyone. Well, almost everyone. Zack was glad that his twin knew him so well and had come up here to be with him.

"Zack?" Cody asked tentatively, trying to ascertain if he had Zack's permission to come closer to him.

"I'm ok Codes," Zack lied, staring out into the empty space between buildings letting the cool breeze dry his tears. His anger had left him when he arrived at the top of the building to be replaced by the gut wrenching pain of grief.

"No, you're not ok Zack," Cody came to stand beside him, but rather than follow Zack's gaze he just looked at his face, "I can read you like a book when you're upset." Zack turned to face his twin as a flash of anger overcame him and before he knew what he was doing he had taken Cody to the ground and was pinning him down.

"UPSET! OF COURSE I'M UPSET! HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS? YOU'VE NOT EVEN SHED A DAMN TEAR FOR DAD!" Zack screamed in his brother's face, spittle flying everywhere. Cody wasn't even trying to resist or break free from these actions, he was finally getting the real Zack to talk to him rather than the sad depressed zombie he'd been living with lately.

"I am sad Zack, don't you dare think for a moment that I'm not," Cody answered so calmly that Zack didn't know whether to remain angry at his brother or not, "I will grieve for Dad when I'm ready to, but right now you need me to be strong for you."

"I don't need anything from you," Zack hissed in anger, instantly regretting his words when he saw the hurt look on Cody's face. With surprising strength and speed Cody broke his right arm free and smacked Zack extremely hard across the face making stars explode before his very eyes before the stinging pain of the assault hit him. Rather than become angrier or hit his brother back, Zack rolled over onto his side with the momentum of the attack and felt confusion and fear ripple through him, ousting the anger. Cody had NEVER hit him that hard on purpose in his life. He was always the gentle and caring twin. This was totally unlike him.

"You son of a bitch!" Cody fumed, rolling over onto all fours next to Zack, "Maddie and Amy were my friends too…Don't you realize that I'm worried about Mom dying too? Don't you know that I loved Dad just as much as you did?"

"Cody…" Zack moaned, trying to apologize before a very heated Cody cut him off.

"No shut up and listen. All of this is killing me Zack, it's eating me from the inside out just like you, but I grieve when and where you can't see me. You can't worry about me too, it would kill you. I know you better than you know yourself…"

"Cody…I…I'm so sorry…I didn't know…"

"Now you do. They're all dead or dying and there's nothing we can do about it. All we can do is survive this tragedy and honor their memories. I won't grieve for them until you get out of your depression. I care about you, and I'm here for you right now."

"I'm scared of the future…" Zack admitted which was totally out of character for him. It was normally hard for him to admit his fears. Cody said nothing, waiting for him to elaborate or to not say anything at all, "We're going to be orphans Codes…"

"Maybe," Cody said, lying down next to Zack, letting the afternoon sun bake his body despite the cooler air brushing against his skin. Zack just stared off into the sky, looking at the clouds, a bright red handprint on the side of his face where Cody had knocked some sense into him.

"It's just…trying to keep going and all…dealing with it is just so…"

"Hard?" Cody supplied the word that Zack was looking for.

"Yeah, hard,"

"I know. It's going to be hard on you, hard on me and hard on my child," Cody said emphasizing his words carefully. Zack tore his gaze away from the sky and looked over at his twin. Had he heard him right?

"What did you say?"

"My child," Cody answered like there was absolutely nothing wrong with saying those two words in conjunction with each other, "I'm going to be a father. I'm every bit as scared of the future as you are, just for different reasons…"

"Are you serious? You and Barbara…?"

"Yeah. I couldn't find the right time to tell you with everything we've been going through lately,"

"And you think now is the right time?" Zack asked in confusion as happiness flooded through him. Cody was going to be a father? He himself was going to be an uncle? It all seemed so unreal at seventeen. It was so overwhelming, but in a good way.

"Be happy for the new life among our family amid all of this death, let the news lift your spirits and repair your broken heart,"

"Sorry…I am happy Cody. It's just, such a surprise that's all…"

"I'll tell you all about it, come on." Cody ordered him, getting on his feet as Zack propped himself up on both elbows watching his twin walk away.

"Ok." He replied, getting up to follow. He wouldn't miss this for the world.

* * *

**A/N:** Dun! Dun! Dun! Cody dropped one heck of a bombshell there didn't he? One of the twins is going to be a father before he even turns eighteen... Smart and responsible Cody, who would have guessed?

Both twins show each other a bit of their violent sides as well, but who can blame them for those monsters rearing their heads in light of everything that they are going through?

Who would have thought that Cody is just as grief stricken as Zack, but that he hides it so he can take care of his brother? Then again, that sounds just like something Cody would do doesn't it?

Anyway, I couldn't wait to put this bit out so I'm splitting up the chapter into parts as it should be rather long.

I hope you enjoyed this segment, please review and let me know. It gives me a lot of motivation to continue writing!

See you in** Chapter 7: "Brothers Forever - PART 2"**


	9. Brothers Forever PART 2

**Chapter 7**

**"Brothers Forever – Part ****2"**

__

I've been looking for a lifeline  
For what seems like a lifetime  
I'm drowning in the pain  
Breaking down again  
Looking for a lifeline

So I put out my hand  
And I asked for some help  
We tore down the walls  
I built around myself  
I was struck by the light

_"Lifeline" by Papa Roach_

It was later in the day when Zack and Cody arrived at the park a few blocks away from their home. It was a small patch of nature amid the towering heights and hustle and bustle of Boston. They had come here often when they were younger to play and more recently to take walks with their girlfriends while talking about stuff. The place really soothed Cody and it even made Zack feel a little bit better, seeing all of the life that the park had to offer. There was nature sure, but also the sights of people enjoying themselves and children running around playing with each other being chased occasionally by their parents or pet dogs. There was a beautiful German Shepard dog playing with her human masters, letting the children wrestle with her a bit before she knocked them down gently and ran a little ways off to make them chase after her.

Come to think of it, the twins had always wanted a pet when they were younger and had harassed their mother about it for a long while to no avail. Zack stopped for a moment and watched the children play with their dog, wanting to go over and play with the Shepard too but sadly knowing that he shouldn't. He couldn't readily identify the feelings he was experiencing. Was he really feeling some semblance of love or happiness? He'd come to accept that he'd never feel so good again.

Cody had stopped as well and was following his gaze when he unexpectedly whistled loudly. The Shepard's ears perked up at the sound and she broke away from her masters to come racing towards the twins. She came up to them and looked at both of them excitedly, not sure which one of them to play with first. Her tail was wagging quickly as she finally made a decision and jumped up on Zack. He laughed and let her push him over onto the thick green grass. The Shepard was all over sniffing and licking him while Zack tried to stop her from getting to his face. He sat up and petted her on the head even as she tried to be uncooperative by attempting to lick his hand. Zack could never have imagined that he'd feel so happy again.

"Jenny!" The children shouted at their dog to get her to come back to them. She moved over to Cody and quickly exchanged a couple of licks for a pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears before Jenny the Shepard ran back. Jenny barreled into the children at top speed, but stopped just shy of hurting them, sending them all falling down like a bunch of bowling pins. The kids laughed and screamed in delight as they resumed playing.

"I so needed that," Zack said, still laughing lightly as he watched the energetic dog overpower the kids attempts to tackle her to the ground like it was nothing to her.

"Yeah you did. Come on, let's grab some food man, I'm starving."

The twins made their way over to a nearby hotdog stand and placed their orders. In a break with tradition Cody got a good old American hot dog rather than a healthy alternative while Zack got one with everything on it. Cody made a disgusted face.

"What?"

"Dude that's nasty."

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Zack argued. Cody paid the vendor, grabbed their sodas and they crashed on a park bench where they ate their late lunch. They ate in silence, just enjoying the sights, sounds and the cool breeze kissing their exposed flesh. Neither twin liked to talk much while eating, unless they were overly excited about something. These days, the pressures and responsibilities mounting on them as they fast approached adulthood left them little to be excited about. Zack missed his younger days when he had been as energetic as the dog Jenny had been.

"Think of a name yet?" Zack asked when he finished eating to strike up conversation.

"Not really, it's too early to even know the sex of the kid I think," Cody replied. Zack found it amazing how easily and calmly Cody talked about this. If Zack had suddenly found out that he was going to be a father, he'd probably be freaking out right about now.

"You tell mom yet?"

"No, but I will soon when she's feeling a little better." There was a short pause between them.

"Cody…How are you gonna take care of a child?"

"Honestly I don't know, it seems so far off right now. All I can do is start making preparations right now." Cody rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands as though he had a headache.

"And those would be…?"

"We'll be starting our senior year about the time that Barbara is due. I'm expecting both of us to have full scholarships and multiple college acceptances by then,"

"Going to school doesn't support a family though…"

"No, but all the money we've saved for college does, since we wouldn't need it anymore." That could work. Zack knew that Cody had religiously saved all of the money he could for his future and that several of their relatives had contributed to both of their college funds. Between him and Barbara they probably had a decent amount of money, and if Cody got a part time job after school and put that money away too it would be a big help.

"You could invest some of it too to get some quick returns or invest for a longer term to have money for the future," Zack added, his knack for knowing how to invest money in stocks and such that would give good payouts kicking in.

"Sure. I'd want your help with that though. You're good with making money like that,"

"Thanks bro. But hey, how are you going to care for the kid if you're going to school?"

"Barbara's parents said that they wouldn't mind babysitting as often as we need them too,"

"Ah I see. So how did they take it anyway?" Cody smiled sadly, rubbing his hands together in thought.

"They're not entirely happy with the whole thing, her being so young and all, but they think we're responsible and smart enough to make this work. I guess they think that this was bound to happen sometime and that there's no better person they'd want their daughter to be with…"

"You are an amazing guy after all," Zack quipped, a broad grin forming on his face.

"Shut up!" Cody retaliated by punching him playfully in the arm.

"Man it'll be weird…being an uncle at eighteen…" Zack shook his head softly at the thought while his brother stared at him incredulously.

"At least your not going to have a little ankle biter running around calling you 'Daddy'!" Cody cried exasperatedly, trying hard not to laugh at how ridiculous he sounded saying that.

"You're right! That will really be weird eh pops?"

"Now you've done it!" Cody grabbed a hold of Zack and pulled him forward into the grass where they rolled around wrestling and laughing.

It was such a wonderful scene as a whole, twin brothers who have endured so much pain and grief over the last couple of weeks still managing to have fun amidst the growing pressure of their daily reality that was trying to crush them. They did this against the backdrop of a lovely spring day at the park where kids were playing, dogs were barking happily, adults were unwinding from a stressful day at work and just the overall serenity of the place.

Seeing this, it was hard to believe that anything bad had ever happened. It seemed inconceivable that anything more could go wrong, but life has a way of doing what we least expect it to do. For now though, Zack and Cody enjoyed their time together. They were brothers forever. Nothing could ever take that away from them.

* * *

**A/N:** Cody sure is doing a good job getting Zack on the road to emotional recovery with a visit to the park. They have a good old fashioned lunch and talk about Cody being a father, but Zack just can't resist throwing in his quips and jokes which just makes himself and his brother happier rather than putting them at odds. It's a sign of the times, but also how well they know each other. This is a bright moment amid the darkness of the new path that their lives are taking.

Hey everyone! Hope you all liked this installment of 'Brothers Forever', the twins bonding more and Cody trying to help heal his brother's invisible wounds. The German Shepard thing I threw in there because all my stories have that dog in it, whether it belongs to a main/secondary character or just makes a random guest appearance, because I love the breed and how playing with them makes me feel so good.

Anyway, please review and let me know how you liked it!

Get ready for the final installment of this chapter in **Chapter 7: Brothers Forever – Part 3**


	10. Brothers Forever PART 3

**Chapter 7**

**"Brothers Forever – Part ****3"**

_It might be more than you believe  
It might be something you can't see  
It's not my time  
I'm not going  
There's a fear in me  
It's not showing  
This could be the end of me  
And everything I know_

_"It's Not My Time" by 3 Doors Down_

Night had fallen at last. It was still warm outside, and a bit sticky with all the humidity still around. Mother nature seemed to be in a hurry to reach summer this year. Zack and Cody were still spending the day together, though now they were up on the Tipton's recreational roof which was several stories lower than where Zack would go to think, swimming back and forth in the pool.

There were very few people up here at night, just a family on vacation in the kiddie pool with their children and an older couple enjoying the hot tub. They had the main pool all to themselves. Cody swam over to the side and pulled himself out and Zack soon did the same.

"Man that felt good, getting cold though," Cody said, eying the hot tub as the gentle wind at their current height sent goose bumps running down his arms. Zack shivered slightly, but he knew he'd warm up in a few minutes as the water dripped off of him. He smelled like chlorine now. He hated that!

"Yeah…"

"Something wrong?" Cody asked, picking up on Zack's tone of voice.

"It's just something that I said earlier. Been thinking about it."

"You've said a lot of things today. Refresh my memory," Cody said, slicking his hair back as best he could to get it off of his face. Zack saw the scene from earlier replay in his head, where he'd unleashed destruction on his home before being told to calm down.

"I said, 'Everyone I love is dying left and right'." Zack whispered, seemingly afraid to say it aloud. He looked up at the stars overhead, wondering if his loved ones were up there now in the heavens.

"Are you worried about losing mom?"

"Yeah…but that's not what I meant," Zack said shaking his head, droplets of water flying everywhere.

"Zack…Are you worried about losing me?" Cody's words seemed to make time stop. Yes he was worried about losing Cody, but he hadn't been directly thinking about him. He'd just had an irrational fear that he couldn't quite place. Now he'd placed it. He'd always had his twin around and Zack had just assumed that it would always be that way, but with the way things were going…no one he loved was safe anymore it seemed.

"Yes," He finally admitted after a long silence. Cody looked away, though Zack wasn't quite sure why.

"Don't be."

"But what if you're next? I can't lose you too."

"What if you are? This is all happening to me too remember?" Cody countered, probably not sure how to dig them out of this hole.

"I didn't think of that." Zack's worry of losing his brother was replaced by the fear one experiences when they face their own mortality. He could die just as easily as everyone else had. He could walk across the street tomorrow morning and get hit by a car or a bus because the driver wasn't paying attention and that would be the end of him. Zack tried to drive away these thoughts, he didn't like where they were going.

"Look…We may die tomorrow or we might live to be a hundred years old. What matters is what we do with our lives and spending time with those that we love," Cody started to lecture, but Zack waved him to silence.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry I brought it up," Zack apologized.

"It's ok. Just remember what I said. As long as we do something good with our lives, what more can we ask for?"

"I'm going to do something good with my life right now," Zack said, getting to his feet with a devilish grin on his face.

"What…?" Cody asked, a worried expression on his face almost as if he knew what was coming next.

"This!" Zack exclaimed, jumping into the pool and doing a cannon ball spraying Cody with pool water. Zack came to the surface laughing and wiped the water out of his eyes looking over to where Cody had been sitting. He wasn't there anymore. What the heck?

"Zack!" Cody said from behind him. Zack spun around in the pool as his brother sent a wall of water right at him, smacking him in the chest and face. They laughed together, each having successfully pranked the other. Such simple pleasures they were, but in a world where everything is getting more complicated by the second, simple things were often the best source of happiness.

* * *

"Oh Cody…" Carey Martin soothed as she drew her younger son into her arms and held him. Zack was leaning with his back to the kitchen counter and had been there the whole time as Cody told their mother the he was going to be a father. Carey had been angry and shocked at first, Cody was too young in her opinion to have a child, but those emotions had soon been replaced by comfort and understanding as he apologized to her.

The twins had come back to their suite after they got done swimming in the pool, showered, changed into fresh clothes and then Cody pulled Zack into their room and told him that he was ready to tell mom. Zack gave Cody his space, but he wanted to be there just in case his brother needed him. Carey finally released Cody and grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table to dab at the tears in her eyes.

"I didn't mean for this to happen mom," Cody apologized for the tenth time. Zack rolled his eyes, chuckling on the inside, Cody had already broken through their mom's anger. He didn't need to keep apologizing, it would only make her sadder now.

"I know you didn't honey. I love you Cody and I'm so happy for you," Carey said, running her hand through his hair as she tried to comfort him. Cody was really just as scared of the future as he said he was Zack suddenly realized. The weight on his shoulders with the burden of becoming a parent must be overwhelming to him right now.

"Thanks mom."

"Oh my babies, my little men, are growing up so fast," Carey sniffed, looking at both of her sons. Zack took this as an unspoken invitation and came to sit down on the couch next to his mother opposite Cody. She pecked him on the cheek with a kiss.

They all stayed there for a while longer, mostly Cody and Carey talking about everything that Zack had already been told earlier that day in the park. When Cody had no more to say and the silences became longer, Zack bailed him out by saying that he was tired and was going to hit the sack. Thinking about it now he really was sleepy, he just hadn't been paying attention to his body's physical needs as he listened to Cody retell his story. Carey shooed them off to bed after that, wanting them to get some rest as they had both had a very long day.

Zack lay awake in his bed tired and wishing for sleep that didn't seem to want to come to him. He had been thinking about the day's events and how ironic it seemed that on the day that the boys lost their father, Cody had become one himself. Zack felt like he should be sadder and in more pain than he was, but whatever magic Cody had worked on him seemed to be helping him to feel better. He did miss his loved ones and he hoped that he wasn't being cruel and selfish by not mourning them any more than he already had.

"Zack you awake?" Cody whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah," He whispered back, wondering what Cody wanted to talk about now.

"I'm never going to die. I have too much to live for. I have you and a family of my own now. I want to see you all grow up." Such an odd thing for Cody to say Zack thought…It did make him feel better though. Zack had a mental picture of himself and his brother many years older at an outdoor barbecue. Barbara was there and there were children running all around playing. Was one of them Cody's child? The Shepard from the park was there absolutely excited to have so many youngsters to play with. Such a happy scene, Zack wished that it was real. He could almost smell the burgers and hot dogs cooking on the grill.

"Thanks Cody. Everything you've done for me…thank you," Zack said sincerely, letting his eyes close.

"You don't have to thank me Zack. You're my brother, my twin. I'd do anything for you, you know that." Zack didn't answer, but he did indeed know that Cody was right and he hoped that Cody knew that he'd return the favor in a heartbeat.

* * *

**A/N:** And so ends the bonding and healing of Zack and Cody with this final installment of "Brothers Forever", I hope you all have enjoyed it.

Please review and let me know. I really appreciate them and am totally open to PM'ing back and forth about the story.

So now, are you all ready for the story to get back on track and moving full steam ahead?

If so, stay tuned for **Chapter 8: In This Memory**


	11. INTERMISSION

**Intermission**

One ordinary day will change the lives of two extraordinary people forever. They have no control over the paths that they take or the fates that await them. One will cry out in the darkness while the other falls silent. When there is no help, when there is no salvation at hand, the one who cries will rise up fueled by the primal human instincts buried deep within every man, woman and child. The one who cries loses control, loses himself and everything that he is, in his lust to right the wrongs that have been wrought. He stumbles and falls, darkness claims him as the other awakens into the light of a new future.

Pray for them. This is the story of their lives and their memories. They live in this memory and the memories that have come before it. Pray for them. Cry for them. Live for them. They are people just like us with the capacity to love, to hate and to be afraid. They did not ask for these lives, but they made the best of them with what they had. No more could be asked of them

* * *

_"I'm gonna miss you Maddie. You still owe me that prom dance too, don't forget." Zack teased her._

_ "I won't. Don't worry, I'll be back at Christmas to visit!"_

_"Cya Maddie. Good luck!" He really meant it, from the bottom of his heart_

_ "Thanks Zack, see you soon!" With Maddie walking away from him, leaving the Tipton one last time before heading off to college and a new job, Zack felt as though a page in his life had just turned and a new chapter had begun. _

_"Farewell my love," He whispered silently, a lone tear snaking its way down his cheek._

**_Farewell My Love_**

**_

* * *

_**_"Come back to bed baby," Amy whispered, drawing him in with her lovely eyes. "I love you Zack. I wish I could stay right here like this all day with you." _

_"So don't go to the party," Zack replied, closing his eyes._

_"She'd disown me if I didn't go."_

_"Fine, but just stay here a little bit longer."_

_"Ok."_

**_Not Your Fault_**

**_

* * *

_**_"I'm sorry…" Zack whispered, hanging his head in shame momentarily. _

_"Oh Zack it's ok. You and Cody are young men now. It was bound to happen sometime." Carey laughed halfheartedly, her eyelids closing as she relaxed back onto her bed._

_"You're not mad at us?"_

_"Of course not sweetie. Now come lie down with your mom and cuddle like you used to when you were a little kid. Let me hold my baby one more time before he is forever claimed by the adventure of manhood." _

_"I love you," Carey whispered as she drifted off to sleep._

_"I love you too mom."_

**_A Nightmare To Remember_**

**_

* * *

_**_"I'm calling in regards about Kurt Martin,"_

_"He's my dad. I'm Zack Martin," Zack perked up a little bit, now he was interested._

_"Is your mom there right now?"_

_"Yeah, but she's really sick right now. What's this all about?"_

_"I'm Lieutenant David Keller with the Houston Texas Police Department. I think you'd better sit down son, I have some bad news." The cold chill was back._

_"Your dad had a sudden heart attack while he was performing on stage here in __Houston__ and was taken to the emergency room."_

_ "Oh my god no…Is he alright?" _

_"I'm sorry son…he didn't make it." _

**_Fallen Star_**

**_

* * *

_**_"Zack…Are you worried about losing me?"_

_"Yes." _

_"Don't be."_

_"Look…We may die tomorrow or we might live to be a hundred years old. What matters is what we do with our lives and spending time with those that we love," Cody started to lecture, but Zack waved him to silence._

_"Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry I brought it up," Zack apologized._

_"Zack you awake?" Cody whispered._

_"Yeah."_

_"I'm never going to die."_

**_Brothers Forever_**

**_

* * *

_**_"Zack…" Cody whispered from behind him in the silence that followed._

_"SOMEONE HELP!!!"_

**_In This Memory_**

**_

* * *

_**_"I…I don't want this life anymore…"_

_"Zack…please…"_

_"I'm sorry…" _

_"I won't let you…" Cody whispered the instant Zack hit the ground…_

**_Prologue_**

**_

* * *

_Author's Note:** The next chapter in the story is one of the most important and moving parts of the entire story. It's taking me longer to get it written than I had originally thought, and I want to get it right before I put it out so it might be a little longer than I originally said it would be in my profile update.

In the meantime I thought I would entertain all of you wonderful readers with a sudden inspiration of writing I had while listening to a new piece of music. It's used in epic videos and just got me thinking about all of my stories, not just this one.

I know that if you didn't realize it before, this Intermission made it pretty obvious what kind of animal Chapter 8 is going to be. _**If you would like to see anything included in it, please leave your idea in the reviews or PM's and if I can add it in, I will and give you credit. I've already done this for some of my reviewers with the Brothers Forever segment.**_

Thanks again and get ready for the climax of "In This Memory", coming soon!

I totally recommend you listen to **"Serenata Immortale" by The Immediate**, it is a really moving piece and I think it fits well for this story.

Peace out!


	12. In This Memory

**Chapter 8**

**"In This Memory"**

_How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?_

_"Untitled" by Simple Plan _

**A/N: **This Chapter is set to this music. I really recommend that my readers listen to this song for best effect.

"Thanks again Zack," Barbara said, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek as she stood up from the table and collected her things. In was a warm and beautiful day outside and Cody had dragged him out to have lunch with him and Barbara. Zack had congratulated her on the new baby and she was totally ecstatic that Zack was being so supportive of the whole situation.

"I'll see you later Barbara," Cody told her, standing up to give her a hug and a quick kiss. She had an appointment later in the day to get Lasik surgery done so she wouldn't have to wear glasses or contacts anymore and it was time for her to go get ready. Zack stood up and stretched, feeling a little tired and heavy from the good meal and the fresh air of the outdoor café. The brothers paid and then left, walking down the sidewalk on their way into downtown Boston.

Today they were headed to the bank where Cody's college funds were stored with the intent of withdrawing everything and closing the account. Zack was a little bit jealous that his brother could do such a thing since his own account was locked to him until he turned eighteen. Cody was going to combine his college fund with his savings account and then transfer the lion share of his money into a high interest savings account while investing the rest to provide income in the future.

It was pretty hot out and as they turned onto the street that the bank was on, Zack felt the cool breeze stop. Sweat broke out on his forehead and he felt uncomfortably warm in his dark blue shirt as it started soaking up the sunlight. Looking around he saw the lines of street vendors and among them an ice cream cart. That would be a refreshing cold treat after lunch and in light of the heat of the afternoon, but then he shrugged off the childish desire. Cody caught him looking over at the ice cream stand and when Zack turned his head away from it, Cody grinned sadly and shook his head.

"It's ok man. Let's go get some ice cream."

"But…" Zack started to protest, even though he really wouldn't mind.

"Dude I can read you like a book. Stop worrying about how you'll look to other people. This is your life, do what you want to do with it," Cody lectured him, but rather than tune him out Zack listened to his brother and found himself agreeing with him. How much time had he wasted in his life worrying about what other people thought of him?

"So is that how you got by all this time being a nerd?"

"Yes, actually," Cody answered, twisting the expression on his face to make it appear as though he were chewing on sour candy. He wasn't really insulted, Zack could tell his brother was just putting on a show for him, and couldn't help but snigger softly. They made their way over and each ordered a waffle cone. Zack decided to get chocolate chip cookie dough and Cody went with mint chocolate chip.

"I feel like a little kid," Zack admitted, trying to lick around the top edge of the cone before the rapidly melting ice cream could run down it and get all over his hand, making his fingers sticky.

"Who cares?" Cody chastised him, but stopped when he saw Zack shaking his head.

"I mean this reminds me of being a kid. You remember that one time we went to the carnival for our birthday in Charlotte when we were traveling with mom and dad on the road?"

"Yeah, that was a good time," Cody admitted, smiling at his own memories of that day when they were just ten years old.

"Especially when we got sick from all the junk food, ice cream and cotton candy we ate that day," Zack remarked, grinning in part because of the memory and partly due to the fact that Cody cursed as he took a bite out of his waffle cone which left the mint ice cream behind it to run down the back of his hand and across his wrist.

"At least you didn't throw up!" Cody said in exasperation as he fished a napkin out of his pocket. Zack remembered that all to well, his parents were so concerned and all he could do was make fun of his brother even though he himself was close to heaving as well.

"Mmhhmm," Zack hummed in agreement as the sweet vanilla ice cream melted on his tongue while he chewed the big hunks of cookie dough. Once again it was the simple pleasures and happy memories that made him start to feel really good again. He mentally ticked off the things in the past two days that stood out in his mind. There was the visit to the park where the twins had a good old fashioned American lunch and played with an energetic dog. Swimming at the Tipton's pool and later standing by his brother as he made the biggest revelation of his life to their mother that same evening. Then today there was the lunch with Cody and Barbara and now the ice cream and childhood memories.

Zack wondered if these simple pleasures had always existed. If they had then he must have ignored them, or merely overlooked them in the daily grind of his life. He felt a twinge of regret that he had wasted so much time and energy on frivolous pursuits. Thinking about it, Cody must have known about the joys of simple pleasures all along.

* * *

"Well here we are." Cody finished off his cone and Zack did the same as he looked up in surprise at their destination. It seemed like they had traveled such a long distance in such a short amount of time.

They went inside and crossed the lobby to the tellers waiting to help customers at the front counter. Cody went on ahead as Zack paused in confusion. He looked back behind him at the empty space there. He'd felt an unearthly cold chill touch him walking through that spot. Maybe it just the air conditioning?

Still spooked out by that experience Zack took the last few steps and joined Cody at the counter. He was busy pulling out his identification and account number while the teller handed him a form to fill out.

There was a sudden commotion by the front entrance. One of the bank's security guards was struggling with a masked man who had a gun. Every eye inside turned to watch as the masked man broke free and fired two rounds into the overweight guard, sending him crashing to the ground. Zack had never heard gunshots up close, much less seen someone actually get shot. It was the most frightening scene that he had ever witnessed firsthand.

"Nobody fucking move!" The gunman yelled loudly, waving his pistol around and firing a shot off into the largest cluster of innocent customers. He hit a woman in the leg and she cried out as the limb collapsed underneath her. Some people nearby moved over and kneeled down next to her to help stop the bleeding and elevate the wound, but they froze as the man fired off another round just above their heads.

"All the money. In this bag. NOW!" He demanded, throwing a decent sized blue duffel bag at the tellers cowering behind the front desk. When they didn't do anything, the gunman strode over to an older teller, a sweet grandmotherly figure with blond hair that was streaked with gray, grabbed the collar of her shirt and pushed the barrel of the pistol up against her neck. Her fellow employees leapt into action, scrambling to get the bag and fill it with cash. They had been taught not to resist robbers and comply with their demands.

"You son of a bitch, let her go!" An all too familiar voice shouted at the gunman. Zack glanced sideways at his brother who was looking downright pissed. His hands were balled into fists and a look of pure hatred was plastered on his face. There was no fear to be found. This was all wrong, and Cody wouldn't stand for it. Years of being pushed around by bullies had changed him greatly. The man moved behind his hostage, holding her like a human shield as he pointed his pistol at Cody.

The gunman's weapon fired a pair of shots as Zack moved to protect his brother and stepped into the line of fire. He heard the incredibly loud bangs that the harbingers of death made as they left the barrel of the weapon and felt a massive tug on his shirt as they displaced the air around him. So this was what it felt like to be shot? Zack didn't really feel any pain…He would have expected to feel something, anything, other than just plain fear.

"Zack…" Cody whispered from behind him in the silence that followed the pair of gunshots. He turned slightly to look behind him at his brother. Zack was greeted by a horrific sight that seemed to stop time itself. Cody's facial expression was a blend of shock, disbelief and pain as he clutched his midsection. His hands were covered in his own blood as he attempted to put pressure on the wound where a bright red stain was rapidly spreading across his shirt. Zack hadn't been shot, Cody had. Oh god no…

Zack was frozen in place, he couldn't seem to get his body to move even as his brain screamed at him to do something, anything, to help his brother by stopping the bleeding…He wanted to move, but he didn't, he couldn't. The impossibility of it all was too overwhelming for him to handle. Cody grunted in extreme pain and collapsed onto his side. He rolled over onto his back gasping for air and his eyes watered as they stared up at the ceiling. They seemed to lose their focus and the brilliant sparkle that had been hidden away in his pupils all of his life seemed to grow dim.

Cody's eyes rolled up into his head and his eyelids closed with exaggerated slowness. Zack kneeled down next to his twin brother as his head rolled to the side and he exhaled his final breath.

"SOMEONE HELP!!!" Zack's panicked scream was lost in the chaos unfolding around him and help did not come. He checked for breathing that wasn't there and tried to feel Cody's pulse, but there was none. He looked on in shock at his brother's sweet innocent face, his eyes forever closed, a trickle of bright red blood leaking from the corner of his mouth.

It had been so sudden…

It had been so violent…

Cody was dead…

Just like that…

* * *

Tears of grief in his eyes, his entire body shaking, Zack felt something awaken inside of him. It was the same feeling he'd felt when he'd learned of his father's passing so soon after Amy had died, only this time is was far more powerful. Though he never knew what the feeling was or where it came from, experts would later agree that Zack had experienced primal feelings and instinct buried deep down in the human psyche under thousands upon thousands of years of evolution.

The entire world slowed down as all of his senses started working overtime capturing sights, sounds and smells faster than ever before. Adrenaline was released and coursed through his veins as his human fight or flight mechanisms went into overdrive. For a brief moment in time Zack possessed super human strength, speed, agility and the inability to feel physical pain until it killed him. That moment was all he needed.

As the gunman looked over at the other hostages, Zack leapt up from where he was kneeling beside his dead brother and quickly closed the distance between himself and Cody's killer. The man moved to look at him, but he was so slow and Zack was so much faster than him. Before he knew what was happening the gunman found that his weapon had been knocked out of his hand, much to his dismay. Before he could even process the surprise of that action Zack was all over him punching, kicking, clawing and biting the murderer.

Bruises appeared everywhere on the man's exposed flesh from the severity of the beating he was receiving and Zack started to draw blood. Seeing the blood only sent him further into a frenzy as he was consumed by bloodlust and berserker violence. He felt so good beating the man and continued his relentless assault trying to release his mountain of anger and forestall the pain trying to creep into his heart caused by the loss of his twin.

Many of the hostages escaped with their captor now subdued, but just as many of them stayed behind frozen in place as they watched Zack unleash his fury. Their eyes were drawn to the identical young man lying dead on the floor just a few feet away and they all suddenly understood everything with perfect clarity. As horrified as they were at Zack's level of violence, none of them made a move to pull him off of the killer. They all felt that this was what the man deserved. It was justice in their minds, pure and simple.

Seconds later police officers arriving at the scene attempted to pull Zack off of the man only to be met with strong resistance. It wasn't until several of them roughly grabbed him and threw him off of the man did Zack finally stop. He fell to the floor, bumping his head on the hard tile, and slid to a stop near Cody as the paramedics arrived and swarmed over him.

"NOOO!!!" Zack screamed at them, his thought process now totally irrational and delusional. He thought that they were trying to hurt Cody more. He didn't want them to take his brother away from him. Zack tried reaching out to him, but was successfully restrained this time by the police. Two officers grabbed one arm each and pinned them to the floor while another kneeled on his back, pushing his chest and stomach into the cold hard floor, and a fourth sat on his legs. It was overkill, the fight in him had been extinguished like the flame of a candle being blown out. He screamed as the paramedics rushed away with Cody's body, barely noticing the sharp pain of a needle breaking through his flesh. Zack grew drowsy and his body seemed to become heavier and heavier by the second. Not too long after he blacked out and slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Time, people, places and events passed by in the blur. They no longer mattered. Cody was dead. That was what mattered, and after that had happened nothing more mattered. Nothing past that was worth remembering or giving a damn about. There was a gaping void, an emptiness that could never be filled again. There was no more twin brother. There was just Zack Martin now.

Zack was lying face down on the couch in their suite at the Tipton with his right arm hanging down to the floor. His hand and index finger were making lazy circles on the carpet as he tried falling asleep again. He'd just finished crying again and his eyes were too sore to do any more grieving. His body shuddered as he fought back his emotions.

So many lives had been affected today. Cody was just an innocent person in the wrong place at the wrong time and he was killed because of it. With his death, Zack lost his brother, Carey lost a son, Barbara lost her lover and a child lost their father. So many lives were ruined because of the selfish actions of one greedy criminal bastard.

The suite was dark and empty. He was alone here now. He briefly remembered his mother being here when the police brought Zack home and broke the news to their mother. Oh god how Carey had lost it. She was in denial at first. Nothing bad could ever happen to her sweet little men. In time though she accepted the news of the fate that had befallen her youngest and she had bawled like no other. She held onto Zack tightly while she broke down, never wanting to let him go for fear of losing him too.

Adding salt to the wound, Carey's cancer had suddenly relapsed as she broke down over Cody's death and she had to be taken to the hospital again. Zack didn't really feel anything for his mother right now. He knew in the back of his mind that that was a bad thing. He should feel something… Shouldn't he?

Now Zack was all by himself, with Mr. Moseby or Esteban checking in on him every couple of hours and seeing if he needed anything. There was a woman that had come by and talked to him too. She was some state government worker. He thought she said something about Department of Children and Families, but then again Zack wasn't really listening to her or caring about what she said.

He slid his head sideways to glance down at the watch on his wrist. Had it really only been four hours ago that Cody had still been alive and they had been enjoying an afternoon treat on their way to the bank? Four hours ago Zack had still had his brother, he had still felt like maybe things would somehow work out for the better and was starting to enjoy his life again. But now that was all gone…

_"I'm never going to die,"_ Cody had said the night before, Zack realized as his brother's voice seemed to whisper the words into his ears.

"You lied Cody…You lied to me…" Zack moaned sadly. Those were probably the first words he'd spoken in hours, but who was he to remember if they were or weren't?

Something caught Zack's eye in the darkness. There was a rapidly blinking red light coming from the kitchen counter. It was the answering machine he realized, he hadn't heard the phone ring because it had been destroyed by him earlier. He lay there for awhile watching the light blink. It seemed like the machine was desperate to be heard, like it needed to tell him something important.

Zack didn't care though, and as he got up from the couch, he had no intention of answering it. The void left by Cody was eating at him. He needed to be around people, or maybe he just needed to be away from the suite with all of its memories of the good times that he and his brother had shared. So he left the suite and eventually went out through the back entrance of the Tipton, not knowing where he was going or really caring for that matter. Zack faded into the hustle and bustle of the world around him as the evening sky started to grow dark.

_The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?_

Back up in the suite, the answering machine's red light continued blinking.

**…to be continued.**

**

* * *

A/N:** Please let me know how I did on this chapter and please, PLEASE, stick with the story. There are still some tricks up my sleeve for the remainder of the plot, and I think you all will be pleasantly surprised by them. Anyway, thanks for reading the climax of the story! This is the event that ultimately pushed Zack over the edge that the story's summary talks about. Things can't get any worse from here huh?

See you in **Chapter 9!**


	13. I Don't Want This Life Anymore

**Chapter 9**

**"I Don't Want This Life Anymore…"**

_Time after time  
I've been through this  
You show me what it means to live  
You give me hope when I was hopeless  
As my days fade to night_

_"18 Days" by Saving Abel_

No one was really sure where Zack had gone in the aftermath of his brother's death. All they knew was that he was gone for almost twenty four hours before he reappeared at the Tipton hotel later in the evening after most of the regular staff had gone home. When he entered the lobby and made for the elevators no one was there to stop him or even take notice of his return.

The ride up to the twenty third floor seemed to take an agonizingly long time and the cheery music playing in the confined space was starting to aggravate Zack. He felt entirely and utterly empty. His heart had nothing more to give. There was no sadness over Cody's death, there was no anger at the man who killed him, there was no love for those left alive trying to take care of Zack…There was simply nothing. He was an empty shell that had no longer had a purpose in life or a reason to exist. Had anyone been around him, they might have realized that he was somewhere between severe emotional trauma and shock on the road to major depression.

Zack entered the suite and closed the door softly behind him, noticing that the lights were on. Someone had probably been up there earlier looking for him when he didn't come back the night before. There was a piece of white paper sitting on the kitchen counter and he went over to read it since it had caught his interest.

_ Zack, I know that this must be a hard time for you and I want to help you in any way that I can. I would like to talk to you more when you are willing to do so. I stopped by and you weren't here, so the manager let me in to leave you this note and I also left you some dinner in the fridge._

Included at the bottom of the note was the name and phone number of Sarah Evans, the case worker assigned to him by DCF. She was supposed to help him find a place to live and people to take care of him now that nearly all of his immediate family was gone and his mother was no longer in any condition to look after him or provide for him since she couldn't work anymore. Zack sighed and let the note fall from his hand onto the floor where it was ignored from that point forward. There was nothing that he could do about any of that, but he then realized that he was starving since he hadn't eaten anything in almost two days. He could easily rid himself of the pang of hunger he felt in order to return to feeling nothing at all.

Investigating the fridge revealed a fresh cold cut submarine sandwich which he pulled out and started to eat. It was pretty good and definitely satisfied his hunger. Zack just stood there in the kitchen while he ate which was completely unlike him. There were no distractions such as having a conversation, watching television or speeding through a meal in order to hurry up and go do something that he really wanted to. There was just silence and emptiness.

Eventually Zack finished, cleaned up after himself, and went over to his bedroom to lie down and get some sleep. He hadn't slept well the night before and now with a good meal in his stomach, he was feeling really sleepy. Zack paused in the bedroom doorway as the light from the living room illuminated the place where he and Cody had slept and hung out at for the entire five years that they had lived at the Tipton. The room lay undisturbed as the brothers had last left it.

Cody's bed was made perfectly and his entire area was neat, clean and organized in comparison to Zack's side of the room where his bed was un-made, he had some clothes lying on the floor next to his bed and everything else was haphazardly placed. Zack just stood there for a moment taking in the whole sight, imprinting it onto his memory as it represented one of the last things Cody had done and one of the last safe and happy places that he'd been in.

After a moment had passed Zack moved into his bedroom and flopped down on Cody's bed. He lay there on his side feeling the softness of his brother's freshly washed comforter against his skin, inhaling the apple scent left on Cody's pillow by his shampoo and looking at his brother's possessions sitting on the night table next to the bed. Zack just wanted his twin back…

He closed his eyes and fell into a deep peaceful sleep. Zack was dreaming about something, but he couldn't recall what it was when he awoke the next morning to find a tray of breakfast waiting for him on the table. Sarah showed up a little while after he'd gotten up and sat down at the table to talk with him while he ate the food left for him by the hotel staff.

Zack didn't really talk with her much, merely just acknowledging what she said, giving her yes and no answers and occasionally telling her any details that he could remember about his brother's murder. She told him that the police were still conducting an investigation and wanted to question him, but so far she'd convinced them to leave him alone for the time being since the killer was already in custody.

Sarah eventually left, promising to be back later, leaving Zack alone once again to mope around the suite and occasionally stop to sit down on the couch and try to watch some television. Moseby and Esteban stopped by several times throughout the day to check up on him, bring him something to eat, ask if he needed anything and tried to cheer him up. Esteban kept offering to play some Xbox with him too, but Zack didn't really feel up to it. Gaming at home was something he almost exclusively did with Cody. It was one of the hobbies that they both shared.

Once again Zack was left alone and he found himself lying on his back trying to fall asleep in Cody's bed. Resting on his chest, Zack's hands idly played with good old Blankie which had long been Cody's safety blanket when he was younger. Zack had always teased him about relying on it when he grew older, but his brother still kept it around. Zack had fished it out because he felt like he needed some security right about now and it was also a powerful link to his dead sibling.

Zack turned his head to the side as he rolled over onto his stomach. Where he had previously felt empty, his emotions were starting to pour in again and depression was settling in. He started crying, soaking Cody's pillow as the salty tear trails raced down his cheeks. Pain crept into his heart and Zack gripped Blankie so tightly that his knuckles turned white and starting making popping noises. He was overwhelmed by the tidal wave of emotions crashing into him…Anger at the murderer, horrified by what he had done in retaliation, survivor's guilt and many, many more. The pain hurt so bad that his body started shaking and he moaned in the agony that it was putting him through.

* * *

"Why didn't you save me Zack?" Cody demanded from where he stood across from Zack at the bank. Cody's shirt was soaked with his own dark red blood and the blue green color of his eyes had turned black.

"I tried Cody!" Zack exclaimed. He'd thrown himself into the line of fire, but he had been milliseconds and centimeters short of making it.

"You didn't try hard enough. You never have your whole life." Cody accused him.

"It's not fair!"

"I was going to be a dad…I had a full life ahead of me!"

"It should have been me. I'm just a loser with nothing…" Zack agreed.

"Why didn't you save me Zack?"

"Why didn't you save me Zack?"

"Why didn't you save me Zack?"

* * *

Zack sat up quickly, his dead brother's words haunting him, as he rapidly awoke from the nightmare he was having where Cody accused him of not trying to save him. He sat there for a moment longer letting the images and sounds fade from his mind while he ran his hands through his sweaty hair.

He had never felt more worthless, helpless and disgusted with himself before in his life. Zack hadn't been able to do anything to save his loved ones and now he had nothing to give back to the world in their loving memories. He was a loser with no future and lived now merely upon the pity of others. He couldn't take care of himself one little bit.

Zack needed to get away again. He needed to go to a place where he could think. This was how he found himself headed up towards the Tipton's roof where just days before he had done some thinking after dad had died and then Cody had come up to talk and slap some sense into him. Maybe if he went up there and moped around again, Cody would appear once again to knock some sense into him Zack thought stupidly.

Walking down the hallway outside the suite, Zack opened the door to the stairwell and stepped inside just as he heard the elevator ding as it arrived on the floor. What he never knew was that it was Mr. Moseby on his way to find him. He had just been called by Sarah Evans who told him that Carey Martin had passed away and that she couldn't find Zack. Moseby said that he would look for the young man at the hotel while she headed over to the hospital to see if Zack was anywhere around there…perhaps even at his dying mother's bed side.

SECONDS…Just mere seconds made all the difference. Had Zack left for the rooftop just a little bit later or had Moseby arrived just a little bit sooner, things may have turned out differently…

* * *

_He crawled to the edge of the Tipton's roof, stood and then propped his arms up on the low wall that ran around the edge. It was such a long way down, everything on the ground looked so tiny from up here. Zack could do it…it would be so easy to throw himself off the edge of the roof and fall to his death. A few seconds of free fall and then with a sudden quickness, it would be all over. No more pain, no more grief, no more crying…He would leave the world just as quickly as everyone else had, just that this time there would be no one left alive to mourn for him… Zack had just started to climb up onto the wall, straddling it with one foot on the roof, the other hanging in the air over twenty three stories above the street down below when a familiar voice made him hesitate._

_"ZACK!!!" Mr. Moseby came running towards him, the door to the roof access banging loudly behind him as it rebounded against the wall it was set into and slammed shut. The Tipton's overly strict and authoritative manager stopped several feet from him, his brown eyes meeting Zack's tear stricken blue-green. There was wisdom behind the older man's eyes, the kind you get from living a full life full of experiences both good and bad._

_"Are you seriously going to kill yourself Zack? After all you've been through, this is how you want to end it?" Moseby demanded of him. Some small distant part of Zack felt shocked at the manager's tone of voice, he was angry yes…but there was also a pleading tone in his voice, as though asking him to reconsider…_

_"There's nothing here for me now," Zack replied, looking away from the man who'd been his worst nemesis in his trouble making endeavors for the past few years. Another small part of him felt ashamed at being a disappointment to Moseby. What was the matter with him? Why did he feel like that? Why did he care what Moseby thought of him anyway???_

_"Cody wouldn't want you to do this Zack. He'd want you to live your life to the fullest and enjoy the things he never got to in life…like falling in love and starting a family…" Moseby was equally aware of Cody and Barbara's love for each other, having asked a bored Zack who was hanging around the lobby what he was up too. Hey…he'd asked!!! Zack's cheeks flushed red with anger…who was this man to tell him what his brother…his twin…his best friend…the other half of his body and soul would or would not want him to do with his life anyway???_

_"How the hell would you know?" Zack screamed at him, his voice cracking, biting his lower lip when he'd finished. If only he could just talk to his brother…just for a minute. Please god!!!_

_"I've known you two since you were eleven years old…you both have kinda grown on me over the years. I would do whatever it took to protect you both…and I think you're making a big mistake." He looked back around at Mr. Moseby, his eyes searching the man's face for any hint of deception. Was he just saying a nice thing like that to get him to come off the wall…or did he really mean it? Did Moseby really care about him and Cody? In the end it didn't really matter anyway. He'd made up his mind._

_"I…I don't want this life anymore…"_

_"Zack…please…"_

_"I'm sorry…" With those last two words, spoken so softly and gently, Zack leaned over the edge. A ripple of fear raced through his body, terrifying him out of his wits, and as he lost all control over his body Zack suddenly realized that he wanted to live after all. The fear made him feel alive…but it was already too late._

_He plunged through the air, flipping over and over, the cold wind whipping by him making his flesh feel like it was being frozen. Zack was vaguely aware of someone screaming his name from what seemed like a long way off…was it Mr. Moseby?_

_Zachary Martin's life flashed before his eyes just seconds before he slammed into the ground, his youthful body turned into a lifeless heap of flesh and broken bones lying in a pool of his own blood that was slowly spreading out from under him. Just before he impacted into the cold hard unforgiving ground he saw Cody in his mind, a look of incredible sadness and concern in his eyes tarnishing his loving face._

_"I won't let you…" Cody whispered the instant Zack hit the ground…_

Back up in the suite, the answering machine's red light continued blinking.

**…to be continued.**


	14. All That Remains PART 1

**Chapter 10**

**"All That Remains – PART ****1"**

_So go on and scream  
Scream at me, I'm so far away (so far away)  
I won't be broken again  
I've got to breathe  
I can't keep going under_

_"Going Under" by Evanescence_

He'd been too late to stop Zack. Too late to talk him down off the wall and too far away to pull him back by force. Mr. Moseby had watched in horror as the tear stained face of the young man looked away from him and he heard him apologize for what he was about to do. Then he was gone.

It had been so sudden…

It had been so violent…

Zack was dead…

Just like that…

Moseby had screamed Zack's name as he plunged to his gruesome death. He'd managed to reach the edge of the wall just in time to see Zack about halfway to the ground. Time seemed to stretch out making seconds feel like minutes as the man slowly descended, his body flipping end over end. Just a small shape now, Moseby's keen eyes could easily see Zack stabilize for a split second and reach out with one arm towards him as though begging to be saved. Warm golden sunlight erupted around Moseby as the dreary clouds above momentarily separated, as though the heavens were glad to be rid of the troublesome twin and wanted for all the world to see him fall to his demise.

In his final seconds of life, Zack had reached out to him. Had he been afraid to die? Did he reconsider the choice to end his life after it was too late to do anything about it? Maybe, just maybe Zack had come to learn the value of life and regretted what he had done?

Now Mr. Moseby stood at the edge of the roof, looking down over the low wall surrounding the edge at the street below him. Somewhere down there was the broken body of Zachary Martin, a young man that he had once wanted nothing more than to go away to make his job managing the Tipton easier.

He had never wanted any children of his own and after living through the torture that Zack and his brother Cody put him through on a daily basis, he was sure that he wasn't a family man. However, as the boys grew up he'd gotten to watch them to become more mature, less troublesome and more responsible. Reflecting on the previous years, he now knew what a wondrous experience it had been even if there had been many rough times. He had started to think of them like sons and began to take a more active role in their lives.

Now it was all gone though. The entire Martin family as he had known it had been wiped out over the course of a few days. He'd heard about Kurt Martin passing away, then Cody was murdered a few days later and shortly after Carey had been claimed by the cancer eating at her. Now Zack was the final one to exit the world.

Moseby was deeply saddened by Zack's final act, but how could he blame the young man? His first crush, girlfriend, father, mother and brother had all died in a short space of time leaving him nothing to live for and no one to comfort or take care of him.

"Oh Zack…I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you more than I was…I'm so sorry…"

* * *

In the darkness of Suite 2330, Mr. Moseby entered through the front door briefly washing the room in the bright white light of the hallway behind him. Closing the door behind him, he stood there in silence. He wasn't really sure why he was there, maybe he just wanted to be in a familiar place where the Martins had lived together. Maybe he stupidly thought that they would all be here safe and whole when he arrived, the entire past few weeks merely just a nightmare. Unfortunately it was all too real…

A blinking red light on the kitchen counter drew his eye and he crossed over to stand before the answering machine for a moment before pressing the play button.

_"New message, Tuesday, four fifty pm,"_ the machine announced. That had been the very same day Cody had been killed, maybe a couple hours after it had happened.

_"Hi Mrs. Martin, I'm Doctor Raymond Phillips calling from Boston Metro Hospital about your son Cody Martin who was shot this afternoon at a bank downtown."_

Time slowed down once again for Moseby…

_"We have him here -_

_and we wanted to inform you that -_

**_we've managed to revive him -_**

_and stop the worst of the bleeding._

_He's in critical condition,_

_but we believe that -_

**_he'll pull through eventually._**

_Please call me back as soon as you get this."_

_"End message."_

Moseby fell to his knees as he heard the words of the Doctor. He couldn't believe what he'd heard. Not because he didn't want to, he was overjoyed to hear that Cody wasn't dead as they had all believed, but because of what that meant in the grand scheme of things. Zack and Carey had never heard this message. Carey had died believing that her beloved younger son had perished and Zack was most likely driven to kill himself with his brother gone.

If only Zack had known Cody was still alive… However close he had been to dying before, at least he was still in this world…

If only Zack had known…

* * *

**A/N: **It was no dream and it was nothing of anyone's imagination… Zack has finally fallen leaving everything behind, including the twin brother that he had thought was lost to him. Cody is alive and though he may be hanging on by a thread now Zack probably would not have done what he did if he had known. A breakdown in communication and his frequent disappearances from the Tipton to get out and think made it that much harder for that piece of critical information to reach him…

Stay tuned for **Chatper 10 – All That Remains – PART 2**

Don't worry, it's pretty much complete. I'm just revising it and breaking ground on Chapter 11.

**_Please review and let me know how you liked Moseby's part!!!_**


	15. All That Remains PART 2

**Chapter 10**

**"All That Remains – PART ****2"**

**- 2 Months Later -**

Consciousness slowly returned to the person lying in the comfort of a bed. Harsh white light nearly blinded the young man and he closed his eyes to a fraction of their full potential as they adjusted. His head was in a fog, in addition to harboring a throbbing headache, and he couldn't remember even the simplest of things. As he became more alert and awake he felt the soreness all throughout his body and an icy cold pain that felt like hundreds of needles pushed deep into the flesh of his midsection.

The man sat up with some difficulty, his bones and muscles stiff from lack of activity, feeling a sudden wave of vertigo and lightheadedness overcome him. He sat there for a moment letting the feelings pass and noticed that there were things sticking out of his body. His eyes followed the intravenous tube embedded in a vein of his right forearm to the pack of saline solution suspended next to him which was keeping him hydrated.

He also noticed the wires sticking out from underneath his shirt and ran his left hand up underneath the baggy white hospital shirt that he wore, tracing the path of the wires to where they were attached to a pad right over his heart. There was a faint beeping noise coming from nearby, most likely the heart monitor attached to him. As he dropped his hand, he felt something alien merged into the flesh of his abdomen right where the icy sharp pain was bothering him.

The man looked down and pulled the bottom edge of his shirt up to get a better look at himself. There were a pair of large stitches pulling the bruised and discolored skin together, holding the wound closed and aiding in the healing and recovery process. He gently fingered the spot and was surprised when the memory of a loud noise followed by a white hot pain shooting through him surfaced and then it faded to an icy grip as he felt hollow and empty. He wondered what had happened. He wondered who he was.

The sound of a door opening interrupted his thoughts and he looked up at the nurse entering the room that he was in. She inhaled sharply and nearly jumped in surprise as she got a look at him.

"Hello…" the man said in a raspy voice. His throat was dry and sore from disuse.

"Hello yourself Cody Martin! It's nice to see you awake finally," The nurse greeted him, coming over to stand next to him as she examined him now that he was finally conscious. She looked into his eyes for a moment, watching them focus on her, before backing away a little bit making sure that he was following her movement.

"My name is Cody?" he asked, feeling deep down inside of himself that the name sounded familiar. It felt right somehow hearing the name. It must be his!

"Yes. Oh dear, the doctor said you might have some memory loss. How are you feeling?" Cody thought it over for a minute. He'd lost his memory and had woken up in a hospital bed with what appeared to be serious injuries that must have taken a good deal of time to heal.

"I guess I'm ok… I am aren't I?"

"You sure are, though you gave us quite the scare when you were first brought in two months ago."

"Two months? What happened? Tell me please!" Cody pleaded, wanting to know more about himself and why he was in the hospital with these injuries. He was starting to grow afraid of the great unknown. Who was he really? Did he have family? Why was he hurt? What was going to happen to him now?

"I would like to, but your family wished to be notified the moment you woke up and they wanted to explain everything to you," the nurse explained softly.

"Ok."

"I'll go call them."

"Thank you."

* * *

"So that's everything?" Cody asked Barbara. He was presently sitting up thanks to the adjusting bed he was in. It felt so good to finally change positions after having been lying flag on his back for months. The muscles in his back, abdomen, neck and shoulders greatly thanked him with the mild pain that comes from stretching tight or under utilized muscles.

"Pretty much," Barbara replied, taking his empty food tray and setting it aside on the table next to the bed. He'd been really hungry and the doctor in charge of him had cleared him to eat solid foods in small portions so that was what he had done while Barbara explained to him who he was.

This was after she had arrived and assaulted him with a dozen or so soft hugs and kisses. She had been so happy to see him awake and alert, but she quickly grew sad when Cody uttered the last words that any lover wants to hear, "I don't remember you. I'm sorry…"

As Barbara told him about his life and their relationship, Cody began to remember bits and pieces of his life. When she would tell him about an event, he started to know what the outcome had been before she told him. Names, faces and places started clicking at an alarming pace, but he still felt like there was a thick fog hanging over his memory. He'd started to remember a lot, but not everything. This was a good sign the doctor told them. His memory loss would probably only be temporary and familiar places and people would help him to get it back.

"So we're going to be parents?" Cody asked, not wishing to touch on other subjects such as the tragic events leading up to his hospitalization. Barbara smiled warmly and nodded.

"Yes we are. I even went and found out the sex of the child the other day. Do you want to know?" Cody considered for a moment whether or not he wanted to know or be surprised when the day came. When he reflected on the fragmented past that he could remember he came to the realization that he was sick of being surprised.

"Yes."

"Well I hope you wanted a little boy then!" Cody smiled as she told him this, his heart soaring with joy. He would have a little guy to take care of, play with and teach. He just thought that this was totally incredible.

"Definitely!" Barbara leaned over and gave him another little hug, happy that he was happy, but when she pulled back she noticed the defeated look on his face.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked as he rubbed his hands together in thought.

"I just wish…well…Mom and Dad would have loved to be grandparents. I just wish they could have been here," Cody admitted, hanging his head in sadness and because he didn't want her to see him crying. His memory might have been in pieces, but he still had clear images of his parents and strong feelings for them. He felt so lost without them and their guidance now as he entered parenthood himself.

"I know Cody. Your parents were wonderful people," Barbara soothed him, reaching over to him and pulling back his long hair which had grown out to its old length, when he had been fifteen years old, in the two months that he had been stuck here in a coma.

Something else stirred inside of Cody as the two of them sat there together. Cody felt like something, or someone was missing. Something was incomplete. He glanced up and looked around the room as though it held the answers that he sought. It did not.

Then, looking at a picture on his bedside table, he realized what it was that was bothering him. It was a family picture, with both of his parents standing next to each other and two blond haired twelve year old boys standing between them. Barbara had left something out of her story. The last thing that she had told him was how he had gotten shot at the bank, how he was actually dead for several minutes before being revived and then ending up here at the hospital.

"Barbara?"

"Cody?"

"Where is Zack?" Barbara didn't answer, she just looked down at the floor, and after a moment Cody repeated his question.

"He's not here…" She said simply, stating the obvious and failing to answer his question.

"Where is he?"

"I…I didn't want to tell you just yet because I was worried it might do you more harm than good."

"Tell me please," She remained silent and he was starting to get annoyed by her behavior. Why wouldn't she just tell him? "Barbara!" He prompted, raising his voice and making her jump in surprise.

"Is Zack ok?" Cody inquired about his twin brother. She still didn't say anything, but the look in her eyes and on her face told him everything he needed to know. Zack was not alright. Zack had once told him that if anything ever happened to him, that he wouldn't know how to keep on going. Was that what had happened? Had Zack believed that Cody was dead and had taken his own life? Cody felt a dreadful sadness overcome him as Barbara finally started to tell him about Zack's fate.

* * *

**A/N:** There you have it. Cody awakens in the hospital two months after he is shot at the bank. His memory is shot to hell but he can still remember the faces and love of his parents and brother. When he asks, Barbara begins to tell Cody the fate of Zack.

What does she tell him? How will Cody cope with the news? Where does everyone left alive go from here? Can things ever return to some semblance of normalcy? Is there light at the end of the tunnel or just a grey unknown future?

Find out all this and more in **Chapter 11!**

**_Please Review and let me know how you liked my handling of Cody coming out of his coma and temporary memory loss. It's the first time I've written something like that._**

**_** Also I want to thank all of you for reading In This Memory. Because of all my readers and reviewers, this story (with this chapter) now eclipses The Chaos Demons in everything (chapters, total words and views) except for reviews, which it is only about 14 behind. Thanks for helping make my second TSL fanfic the biggest of my collection. See you soon in Chapter 11!  
_**


	16. Awakening

**Chapter 11**

**"Awakening"**

_Got everybody watchin what I do  
Come walk in my shoes  
And see the way I'm livin if you really want to  
Got my mind on my money  
And I'm not goin nowhere  
So keep on gettin your paper  
And keep on climbing  
Look in the mirror and keep on shining  
Till the game ends, till the clock stops  
We gon' post up on the top spot  
Livin the life, the life  
In a brand new city got my whole team with me  
The life, my life  
I do it how I wanna do  
I'm livin my life, my life  
I will never lose, I'm livin my life, my life  
And I'm not stopping_

_"Live Your Life" by T.I. with Rihanna_

**- 10 Months Later -**

_"…die!" Cody finished._

Zack's last memory was seeing his brother come to him, like a guardian angel, just before he crashed into the street. Cody had whispered to him that he wouldn't let Zack die and in that instant he felt the warmth of the sun's golden light hit his body, washing away all the pain, grief and fear of the unknown. His brother would take care of him. He was finally at peace with himself.

His eyes opened slowly as they tried adjusting to the bright white light all around him. Zack felt really comfortable and there was a cool breeze caressing his face, carrying with it the smell of fresh air. He wondered if this was heaven. Everything was so white and peaceful that he felt like he could stay here for all eternity in this lovely bliss. Then Zack became aware of something next to him.

Wincing in pain as his muscles protested the sudden movement, he turned his head to his right side and looked down at his side. He was wearing a baggy white shirt and poking out from underneath it were what looked to be several layers of bandages wrapped around his midsection. But that wasn't what had drawn his attention. An infant lay next to him fast asleep, its little hand was clutching a piece of Zack's shirt and was pulling on it accidentally in its slumber. He couldn't help smiling softly at how cute that looked.

Zack managed to move his hand with some difficulty, and put his index finger underneath the baby's hand. The baby let go of the shirt and wrapped its little fingers around Zack's index and started pulling on that instead. The baby was so tiny Zack marveled, he couldn't imagine ever being that small even though he knew that he had been. There was a sudden movement just beyond Zack's field of view, there had been someone sitting down in a chair next to the head of his bed.

That person soon revealed himself as he stood next to bed. Zack looked up, his vision still a little blurry, and figured that he really must be in heaven. How else was the person towering above him really here? The blond hair, the blue-green eyes full of concern and happiness and the face that he himself shared…

"You're an idiot," Cody said softly when he was sure Zack was looking directly at him. Why would he say such a thing?

"Cody?" Zack inquired, taking in his brother's appearance. He wore khaki colored slacks with a black belt, a dark green polo t-shirt tucked into his slacks and there was a golden 'T' written in cursive on it. What the heck?

"Welcome back to the land of the living Zack!"

"I'm not dead?" Zack asked, puzzled. The last things he remembered was Cody being murdered and then he himself jumping off the roof of the Tipton to end his life.

"No, but you almost were." Cody answered, placing a hand gently on Zack's right shoulder. He was grateful for the gentleness, since he felt a dull pain threatening to erupt into an unbearable agony on the spot where his brother touched him.

"Cody what is going on?" Before Cody could answer however, the baby still tugging on Zack's finger started crying and he moved to pick up the child.

"Oh it's ok Kurt," Cody soothed, holding the little boy in his arms and gently rocking his arms sideways lulling the child to silence.

"Cody…?" Zack inquired, unable to finish the question as he glanced up in amazement at father and son looking into each other's eyes. His brother really was a dad now. Zack felt a little overwhelmed by this and strangely inferior somehow.

"Yeah Zack, we named him Kurt after dad. He's one of your nephews," Cody finally answered, lowering the child so Zack could get a better look at him. Kurt turned his little head and stared at his uncle for a moment, his mouth opening and closing before he finally put his fingers in it and looked away.

"Hey there Kurt," Zack greeted his infant nephew just before the other part of Cody's reply clicked in his mind, "Wait, you said one of my nephews?" Cody moved away with his son and set him down in the stroller before picking him back up. No wait, Kurt had been wearing a red outfit, this baby was wearing blue.

"They misdiagnosed Barbara. She had twins," Cody confirmed Zack's line of thought as he stared at blue clothed twin. This one was sound asleep and not in the least disturbed by being picked up by his father.

"What's his name?"

"Adam. It was going to be the name of Barbara's brother if her parents ever had a son, but they never did."

"Adam and Kurt Martin. That's got a nice ring to it for the next generation of troublemakers." Zack said in a slightly amused tone, imagining Moseby chasing another generation of Martin twins around the Tipton as they engineered all kinds of mayhem.

"They've got big shoes to fill, but they'll be learning from the best," Cody agreed. There was a moment of silence between them as Zack just watched Cody stand there holding Adam in his arms. He started to dwell on the first words that Cody had spoken to him.

"Why did you call me an idiot?"

"Because you are," Cody answered matter of factly, "You shouldn't have tried to kill yourself,"

"I would die for you man, and well I guess I would die without you in my life," Zack admitted.

"Except I wasn't dead…"

"What? But I saw you…I felt your pulse vanish and you stopped breathing…"

"The gunshots missed my vital organs, they just tore through a lot of muscle and fat which slowed them down before they hit my ribs and ricocheted off my spine. I don't know all of the medical details, but pretty much that sent a shock through my system all the way to my brain which stopped my heart. As soon as I got in the ambulance five minutes after being shot, I was revived by a defibulator and ended up in a coma for two months."

"Wow…so what happened to me?"

"That…" Cody set Adam back down in his stroller and then sat down next to Zack in the chair at his bedside before continuing, "That is an interesting story. No one really knows what happened, but there are a lot of guesses floating around."

"Such as?"

"Well, tall buildings can generate their own weather. Sometimes buildings of the Tipton's height can generate their own wind currents and the wind actually blows upward, making it hard to throw things off the roof like pennies and such."

"You think the wind saved me?" Zack asked incredulously.

"Yes I do. I think it slowed you down enough and then when you got closer to the ground it started to blow more horizontally which put you in a glide path and the way you landed also made a difference. Feet first instead of head first. If had been any other way you would be dead now."

"That sounds so crazy dude…"

"It's sounds a lot more plausible than what other people claim. They claim that they saw the clouds part when you fell and an angel appeared before you to slow you down."

"It was you Cody. I saw you just before everything went black. You said you wouldn't let me die…" Zack recalled the confusing and rapid images of his life flashing before his eyes and then he'd seen Cody's face and heard the determination in his voice as he said that he wouldn't let him die.

"But Zack, I was lying in a coma when you jumped off the Tipton. Don't tell me that you believe those people?"

"I don't know what to believe anymore Codes…"

"Would you like me to tell you what's been going on for this past year while you were in the coma?" Zack was amazed at how much time he'd spent here, but he should have guessed that it had been awhile seeing as how Barbara had already had her children. He also felt robbed of that whole year of his life, there was so much he'd have to catch up on…He'd missed nearly all of his senior year at high school, he'd spent his eighteenth birthday unconscious here in the hospital and now he'd have to figure out how to make it in the world on his own now that his parents were gone.

"Please…" Zack finally replied, and relaxed his body as Cody began to start his tale from when he himself had woken up in the hospital and found out about Zack's fate from Barbara. It was quite an interesting chain of events.

Following Carey's death, and then Zack and Cody's hospitalization, the boys had become orphans and they were temporarily put into the care of the state of New York. This didn't last long however, because Barbara's parents went and adopted the twins after long talks with DCF eventually winning over the guardianship of them. This only lasted until they turned eighteen though and now they were legally adults and in charge of themselves.

After Cody was released from the hospital, he'd been taken in by Barbara's parents and had lived with them up till this point as he finished recovering from his injuries and then set out to finish school, find employment and provide for his soon to be born children. Strangely enough Mr. Moseby had immediately employed Cody, upon hearing that he was looking for work, and he now worked at the Tipton as Moseby's assistant handling all manner of paperwork and helping manage the hotel when he wasn't otherwise busy. Moseby had also left word with Cody that Zack had a job there too, should he ever want it when he recovered.

London Tipton, saddened by the tragedy that had befallen two of her closest and perhaps only real friends, took care of Zack and Cody's hospital bills and made sure that they received the best care. She'd also managed to convince her father and Moseby to allow the twins to keep their suite at the hotel since they would need a place to live. Cody didn't live there now, he did occasionally sleep there after a hard day of work when he had to be back bright and early, but for the most part he just lived at Barbara's house while they waited for the day that they could move out on their own. Cody told Zack that the place was all his if he wanted to live there.

Cody was going to college part time while he worked, opting to take one or two real classes during the week in addition to one or two online classes. Barbara was doing much the same with night classes when her parents were able to baby sit their grandchildren when Cody wasn't able to look after them on nights he had to work. And so the stage was set for Zack's return.

He had a job waiting for him, a place to live and an extended family that was willing to help him on his road to recovery. Thinking about all these things made him forget the pain that had nearly destroyed him and he was ashamed of himself for having tried to commit suicide. In that moment of clarity he realized just how selfish he had been too. If Cody really had died, Barbara would have been left to raise her sons alone. The infant twins would have had a much less fulfilling life without a father figure in their lives as well as relatives that would love to play with them, take them places and spoil them rotten. Then, when they got older, they would have wanted to know more about their father and Barbara would only have been able to tell them so much. There was no one else living who knew Cody better than Zack did.

"I wonder if I'll ever be able to fall in love with another woman," Zack said after Cody had paused for some time when he realized that Zack was zoning out a little bit.

"Amy wasn't your first love and I know that she won't be your last."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're a good person Zack."

"I was just a loser before, what makes you think I'm anything more than that now?"

"There are many bad men in this world. The one who shot me, the one who decided to drive under the influence and crash into Amy and countless others out there who ruin the quality of life for everyone else. You're not one of them. You're a good man and you'll make that special someone down the road really happy."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Kids?" Zack inquired dubiously.

"They're a handful, but they're equally as rewarding," Cody admitted with a smile and then winced as one of his sons started crying which inevitably woke the other one up and made him cry as well. He just took it in stride and he laughed at the timing of their cries as he went to tend to them.

"Cody?" Zack said after some time had passed and both of the infant twins were quiet again.

"Hmm?"

"I know I've told you this a lot lately, but I'm glad you're my brother."

"I'm glad you're mine too. Now get some rest Zack and we'll come back tomorrow to check up on you. I've got to get these guys home to their mommy before she starts worrying about us."

"Ok Codester. I'm looking forward too that."

"See you tomorrow then. Good night bro."

"Night Cody." Zack closed his eyes and let his thoughts carry him off to sleep. Despite everything that had happened to him and those that he loved, here and now he felt content in life. He very much wanted to get out of the hospital when he'd healed up and go make a life of his own out in the world and perhaps, as Cody had suggested, find love and make other people's lives brighter by his own goodness.

Cody had kept his promise after all. He said that he would never die because he had too much to live for, and while Zack hadn't made a promise of his own, he vowed to himself that he would the next time he saw his brother. Everything was perfectly clear now and the path ahead of him no longer looked so foreboding and dangerous anymore. Zack had too much to live for now and he would do everything in his power to protect his loved ones, especially the newest additions to the Martin family and preserve his life as long as he could so that he could see them all grow up.

Eventually Zack was caught in that place where he wasn't exactly awake or really asleep for that matter and he felt a nearby presence. It made him feel warm inside. He looked around for it, but he couldn't see it. Zack felt the touch of a woman's hand rest against his cheek briefly, it felt like his mother's gentle touch. Then felt a slight pressure on his lips from a kiss. It was just the way Amy had kissed him. Next the strong hand of a man rested on his shoulder and gave it a gentle shake with his father's strength. Finally he felt fingertips sliding underneath his hand and then his hand was briefly held and Zack felt the old but never forgotten feeling of the crush he had once had on Maddie.

Zack's head tilted to the side as he fell into a deep sleep after being comforted by the touches of the loved ones that he had lost. Had they really been there in spirit or did he just imagine them? Perhaps he would never know the answer to that question, but what Zack did know was that he was at peace with the world and with himself. Though he may cry for the dead in the days ahead, it is only because of the love he had for them and their memory and no longer because of the pain of their loss.

For the rest of his life he would remember this night, awakening to find his brother watching over him and then being briefly visited by the people he cared most about. Whether real or not, he would keep this memory forever.

The future looked bright for Zack, Cody, Barbara, Adam and Kurt.

* * *

**A/N: SURPRISE!** Zack is really messed up, but he survives in the end as well. I never actually confirmed that Zack was dead hehe, Moseby saw him jump and the previous chapter ended before Barbara started talking about him. I know I didn't fool a few of you guys and gals since I had foreshadowed SOMETHING happening to Zack after the jump, but I hope I got most of you =)

Was he saved by the laws of physics or did he really have a guardian angel, or angels, watching over him to stop him from making a stupid mistake that he would never live to regret? What does the future hold for our favorite twins and now the younger generation of twins and their mother? Stay tuned for the **Epilogue!**

* Hey everyone. I hoped you all liked the story and its conclusion. It had a slow and rough start, but it became my favorite project in the end. I'm sad that it's coming to an end now, it was such a blast to write, but this is where the plot stops and dragging it on any more makes it predictable and drawn out heh. I may expand on this story in future projects with Adam and Kurt, making an In This Memory alternate universe. Keep reading though because there is still more to come.

* * *

_**Some story Trivia / Behind The Scenes**_

- The initial plot for this story had no one surviving, but I eventually modified it with Cody surviving and later in the future he's having a birthday party with his children when the ghost of Zack visited him briefly and brought closure to the story. Then I decided it was tragic enough and reworked the plot to have Zack miraculously survive as well – Mostly that was '_Wyntirsno_' and '_xCole-and-Dylan-rockx_' making me feel mad guilty for killing both of them so the credit goes to them. See? Everyone's reviews can influence my stories and how I carry out the plot, or even change it. I told you all so! =)

- Cody was always written to have twins – if both Zack and Cody died, the new twins were going to have their names – if only Zack had died they would have been named Zack and Kurt – since they both lived it ended up being Kurt and Adam which was the first real name my own parents chose for me before deciding to go with another name.

- It was only after the first few chapters were published that I remembered that my new stepsister (whom I've only met once a few years back when my mom was just dating my step dad) is named Amy. No I don't hate her! She's very nice from what I remember. I sat there going 'huh' for a moment and then shrugged it off as random coincidence.

- I never actually planned to kill Kurt off, that just sort of happened because I needed to throw another death at Zack to deal with. He was originally just cut off from communication from the family while he was on tour and returned to find both his sons dead in the first plot or just Zack dead in the second plot and being there to help comfort Cody. I had a final goodbye graveyard scene for him, but I obviously scrapped that.

Well that's all the rambling for now. See you in the next update!


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Well mama told me, when I was young  
Said sit beside me, my only son  
And listen closely to what I say  
And if you do this, It'll help you some sunny day_

_Or take your time don't live to fast  
Troubles will come and they will pass  
You'll find a woman and you'll find love  
And don't forget that there's is a someone up above_

_Be a simple kind of man  
Be a something you love and understand  
Baby be a simple kind of man  
Oh won't you do this for me son if you can_

_Oh don't you worry  
You'll find yourself  
Follow your heart  
And nothing else  
And you can do this(oh baby)if you try  
All I want from you my son is to be satisfied_

_"Simple Man" as performed by Shinedown, written by Lynard Skynard _

**_- This song is dedicated to Zack_**

**- 13 Years Later -**

The day was absolutely perfect at Zack's beach side home in Florida and he was very grateful for that since all of the children wouldn't be cooped up inside. It was warm outside, but not unbearably so especially with the cool ocean breeze gently caressing his skin. Zack was standing outside on his front porch with his oldest son Ryan, who had just recently turned ten, watching the street for one vehicle in particular. Cody had just called to tell him that they were almost there.

Cody still worked up in Boston for Tipton Industries, but Zack hadn't been comfortable living there with all the sad memories that he was reminded of every day and so he eventually managed to get transferred down to Mr. Tipton's newest hotel in Daytona Beach. He thought that he might enjoy the sun, surf and everything else that the state had to offer and thus far he was right. This of course made it harder for the new Martin family to get together, but thanks to their high standing in the company and generous payrolls Zack and Cody managed to visit each other several times a year on holidays and vacations. They alternated between going to Boston, going to Daytona and sometimes both of them going somewhere else in the United States. It was currently spring break and Cody's turn to make the trip.

"Man how long does it take?" Ryan asked Zack, anxious to see Cody's twin boys Adam and Kurt and hang out with them. He had a hard time making friends Zack had noticed, but when he was with the twins they became the ultimate destructive troublemaking trio. Zack smiled and looked down at him, once again seeing the blond hair that all of Zack's children had inherited from him but also seeing that it was a shade darker and streaked with their mother's brown here and there. It was the same with Adam and Kurt though, so it wasn't really strange or anything, since they had Cody's blond hair and streaks of black running through it from Barbara.

"Your Uncle Cody was always a slow and careful driver," Ryan glanced up at him with an incredulous expression, not understanding how twins could be so different as Zack liked driving fast and pulling off cool maneuvers, "I'm serious!" Zack added defensively while Ryan just shook his head.

"Oh you think I'm being funny do you?" Zack accused and quickly stepped behind his son and wrapped him up in a bear hug.

"Dad!!!" Ryan laughed, struggling to break free, but Zack wouldn't let him until he heard little voices start yelling at each other.

"They're at it again…" Ryan said, rolling his eyes.

"What is it this time?" Zack asked as his eight year old daughter Amy, named after his first true love that had been tragically taken from him, came running out the front door towards him with Zack's six year old son Jake hot on her heels.

"He broke my doll!" Amy accused, her cute little face was slightly red with anger.

"Did not!" Jake argued, glaring at his sister.

"Hey look, I don't care who did what. I'll get you a new doll baby girl. Right now I want you two to behave. Your cousins are coming, be nice for them ok?" Zack quickly defused their argument and demanded that they put a hold on their usual bickering. Jake, still fuming, walked a little ways away and sat down in a chair.

Ryan went over to sit with his little brother while Amy wrapped her arms around Zack's legs to show her affection. He wanted nothing more than to be able to pick her up, give her a great big hug and maybe spin her around, but he had to check the motion. Ever since his attempted suicide and recovery thirteen years ago, he wasn't supposed to lift heavy objects, play any contact or extraneous sports or otherwise exert himself beyond the limits of his physical therapy. Zack wasn't broken or anything, he could function just normally in fact, but there were several parts of his body that had never fully healed and should never be put to the test for risk of serious irreversible damage. As it was, he had to settle for running his fingers through her long soft hair and giving her a pat on the back.

"There they are!" Ryan exclaimed as a new model dark blue family van pulled onto their street and made a bee line right for Zack's new home. In short order Cody parked and his family started exiting the car.

It was beyond unnerving seeing Adam and Kurt as it always was whenever Zack got to spend time with them. They were damn near identical to how Zack and Cody had looked when they had been their age all those years ago when they first showed up at the Tipton. The only difference between the two generations of twins was that Adam and Kurt had streaks of black running through their blond hair thanks to their mother. Both of them had just turned thirteen. Zack had a hard time coming to terms with how much time had passed…It seemed like only yesterday that he was waking up in a hospital with the infant Kurt resting peacefully beside him as Cody broke the news of his parenthood to him.

"What's up dudes!" Zack greeted the twins as they came up to him and shook his hand. Making sure Cody or Barbara wasn't looking he slipped both of them a fifty dollar bill as part of his usual spoiling his relatives.

"Hey Uncle Zack," Adam returned the greeting, slipping the cash into his pocket without being noticed. He and his brother were under standing orders from Zack to cause as much mayhem for Cody when they left and were supplied with adequate troublemaking funds.

"We missed you dude!" Kurt added, giving him a quick fist pound. The twins loved their father of course, but when Zack and his own sons were around, they had an outrageously fun time. Guys night out was something that all of them looked forward too, Zack, Cody, Adam, Kurt, Ryan and Jake.

Speaking of his own boys, Zack watched as Ryan came up and dragged the twins inside wanting to show them something. Jake lagged a little behind, but followed them nonetheless. He was still a little intimidated by the older boys, but Zack knew that the three of them would take care of him or failing that they wouldn't torture him too much. By the end of the reunion, they would all be best buds again.

"Codes man, it's been awhile," Zack greeted his own brother with handshake and then a quick hug before he was turned over to Barbara who also hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. Behind them Cody and Barbara's only daughter Alexandria finally got out of the car, having been too shy to face Ryan and Jake just yet, having spotted Amy coming over looking for her. The two girls were only a year apart with Amy being the older one. They got along so well, they might have been twin sisters separated at birth.

Zack found it kind of interesting how he and Cody had both settled down, started a family and each had three children, two boys and a girl per family. Plus three children made a big family in these hard economic times, but thanks to their good jobs they were far from being burdens. If Zack had to guess, they both had had large families to replace the gaping void of love left behind after their parent's and friend's deaths. Four loved ones had been taken from them, and almost as if in defiance of the grim reaper and hell itself Zack and Cody had helped bring six new lives into the world to give love to and watch them grow up into good people.

Later that evening after the sun had set, the ocean was cast in a dim blue glow of the fading sunlight Zack was standing at the point where the beach sand met the ocean water letting the tide lap against his bare feet as it came in and then went back out again. The salty air filled his nostrils and the cool breeze rolling off the sea was incredibly comforting. It had been a long day, most of it having been spent on the beach where Ryan was teaching Adam and Kurt to surf with his extra surf boards, Jake busted out his boogie board and enviously watched the older boys as Zack made sure he didn't get into any trouble by hanging with his youngest son and then the girls mostly stayed back building sandcastles.

After they had worn themselves out at the beach, the kids all came inside, showered and then took naps in the living room on the couches or simply the floor. They were all so drained of energy from the day's fun. Meanwhile the adults went about starting dinner out back on Zack's patio grilling burgers and hot dogs. After the children finished napping, they groggily got up and had dinner with their parents and sat around talking with them for awhile before the boys slipped off to play video games for a couple of hours before it was time to hit the sack. Alexandria fell asleep again in Cody's arms and soon after Amy did too and Zack sat with her, letting her rest her head on his chest. The older twins just looked at each other and smiled.

Now Zack was just standing in the shallow water looking out towards the horizon and at the brightest stars just now starting to become visible. He was not only reflecting on the days events, but also his entire life and most especially the happy days just before the biggest time of tragedy in his life. He didn't know Cody had come to join him until he felt his brother's arm wrap around his shoulders. They didn't say anything for awhile as they enjoyed the moment.

"It's been a good life," Cody finally said, staring up into the stars.

"Yeah it has been. You were right," Zack admitted, remembering the words Cody had told him when he had awakened in the hospital after the jump.

"They would be proud of you now, just like I am," Cody continued.

"I miss them so much. The pain is still there Codes," Zack said, but Cody never responded too. They remained silent for awhile longer looking up at the heavens wondering if their parents, Maddie and Zack's long lost girlfriend were up there enjoying the afterlife.

"Cody?" Zack prompted…

"You're glad that I'm your brother," Cody replied, anticipating Zack's statement.

"Always."

* * *

**A/N:** There you have it everyone. In This Memory is finally complete. I would have added a little bit more to the family reunion, but I wanted to finish this before I leave for a month of training where I won't have internet access. That said, there won't be anything new popping up on the site until I return next month. I also have two new stories on the drawing board. You can find the dates that I'm going to be gone and the descriptions of the new stories on my profile page.

In This Memory is my second story on this site and has finally come to a conclusion as the biggest of them all (7 more reviews to beat The Chaos Demons!!!) and I want to thank everyone for reading. I may go back and write some "Lost Chapters" for this story (things I wanted to include, but didn't because of time restraints or writers block) and some day I may expand on this new reality with the kids, especially Adam and Kurt. At the end of this story Zack/Cody/Barbara are 31, Adam/Kurt 13, Ryan 10, Amy 8, Alex 7, Jake 6. I purposely left out Zack's wife because I simply didn't want to create her character for just the epilogue, sorry =/

Anyway, see you all in June. Hopefully I'll have my new stories off the ground by then, both have their first chapters mostly written but I don't want to push them out right now and have them go a month without updates.

As always, stay tuned and peace out!

**P.S.** Happy Mother's Day! Tell that special lady how much you love her and thank her for all she's done!


	18. LC: Life Changing Moments

**Lost Chapter**

**"Life Changing Moments"**

_Cannon – Occurs during Chapter 3 while Cody is at Lake George with Barbara._

Cody was sitting down on a patch of grass in the shade of two trees, one of which he was resting his back on. It was cooler here than in the city, especially with the gentle breeze rolling off the lake. The air was incredibly crisp and fresh, which was another welcome change. He hated that he only had one more day up here with Barbara and her parents who left the couple generally alone when they wanted to do stuff together.

"There you are Cody," Barbara's soft voice broke the soothing background noise of nature. His half closed eyes opened fully and he spotted his girlfriend coming down the little trail towards him. She sat down next to him and he wrapped his right arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him.

"Hey," Cody greeted her.

"Just 'hey'?" Barbara said in a mock hurt tone of voice.

"How about, 'I love you'?" Cody had expected her to smile or giggle or do something other than the expression that she showed. Her expression fell and it looked like she was afraid of something.

"What's the matter?" He finally asked, running his fingers through her long dark hair that smelled of strawberries.

"Oh Cody…I'm so scared," She titled her head up to look at him and there were tears in her eyes. Something was wrong, there was nothing of that he could think of that was wrong right now which meant that whatever it was he had no knowledge of it.

"Tell me. I will help you,"

"I'm…I'm so young and I don't want you to leave me…" Cody was shocked by her words. Of course they were young, but what did she mean about him leaving her? Did she think that he didn't love her anymore, was cheating on her or that he would fall victim to the tragedies befalling his family right now?

"Barbara, I would never…" He started, but she interrupted him.

"Cody I'm pregnant…"

His whole world seemed to stop right then and there, almost like it was the last page of a chapter and the book had just closed leaving him in that empty void between the previous book and the next. It was the first time in his entire life that he felt so many conflicting emotions all at once. Of course the most powerful one was shock, this development came at him completely out of left field and blindsided him. Just below that emotion was some animal instinct buried deep down within him that was satisfied to hear that he would have offspring. It made him feel complete knowing that he would have a child that contained a part of him who could carry on his name and genes.

Cody was happy to hear that he and Barbara would be parents, he had no doubts that they would make an excellent mother and father even despite all the bumps along the road they would encounter. Then he felt sadness. Could he really provide for a child and give it a full life when his own had just barely begun at age seventeen? Then he felt fear as the overwhelming prospect of being a father seemed to climb higher and higher above him and then he wondered what his parents would think about him or say to him. Then he felt angry. Angry at himself for not using protection, angry at her for not doing the same and angry because this sudden event had probably just ruined all of his hard work over the years as he worked to build a carefully constructed future of education and prominent employment for himself.

There was a long moment where his head just kept spinning as all of his emotions, thoughts and endless scenarios of him being a dad all ran together and eventually caused a traffic jam that seemed to shut him down. He didn't feel anything for a moment or think a single thought. There was just clarity. Clarity that helped him examine his life up to this point which made him understand that all of the challenges and problems that he had faced before led up to this one great moment in time. No one was ever prepared to be told that they would be a parent and there was no way to have gained experience raising a child twenty four seven until it happened. This self examination cleared his mind and brought about his true feelings. Cody was happily surprised at the news, but he was just as content with his life and the same caring person he had always been.

"Everything will be ok Barbara. I promise." He wasn't sure how he would make good on that promise, or even if he really was even capable of doing so, but if there was one thing that he was sure of it was himself. Cody was confident in himself, his resourcefulness, determination and intelligence. He would be relying on those qualities to help him get through the next few years of his life.

"You're…you're not mad?" She asked in surprise.

"Of course not. I love you as I will love any child we have," Cody replied, wondering how she could have thought he would be mad about this. She knew him better than that, he was sure of it.

"But, this is a baby and we're just seventeen Cody! We're not ready for this!" Barbara protested, her hand coming to rest against her stomach as she looked down at herself.

"Shhh," He put his index finger against her lips, "I promised you that everything will be ok. You do believe me don't you?" Cody soothed, gently pulling her over to him so that she sat in his lap. He had a sudden desire to be close to her, to hold her and give her his love.

"Well…it's just…yes. Yes I do," She finally said, gaining strength by looking into his beautiful and confident blue green eyes which were admiring her lovely face.

"No more worrying then. For now, we should enjoy our lives and great moments like these. They don't come often enough," Cody said, his tone moving from comforting to being very seductive. He tilted his body so that he was no longer against the tree and gently lay down on his back, bringing Barbara down on top of him. She looked at him for a moment, his confident and worry free face looking back at hers which was full of concern and fear about being a mom.

"You're right. They don't," She finally said, letting go of her self control and kissing him on the lips passionately. His arms wrapped around her as he returned her kiss and they both lost track of time. How long they were there, seconds, minutes or hours, neither of them knew. They were just two scared people standing in the face of a challenge of epic proportions and handed a great responsibility that neither of them were sure that they were ready to deal with. They simply enjoyed that moment in their lives and temporarily forgot about everything else. As Cody liked to say, it was the little things in life that mattered. He knew that his life was going to change forever now, but it could wait until tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey everyone. Thought I would leave you all a little goodbye present before I leave tomorrow morning. The Lost Chapters are mainly parts of the story that I had to cut to get it completed, couldn't be included since I decided to only follow Zack's POV or were tossed because the plot changed (changing which characters were dead and alive at the end of the story). **[Cannon] **Chapters mean that they fit within the story's plot and are not alternate events that never occurred which are the **[Non-Cannon]** chapters. So that means that this chapter really happened in the story, it just wasn't told since Zack was the main character and the only POV I wanted to use except when he was incapacitated.

I hoped you liked this segment with Barbara dropping the bombshell on Cody on their weekend vacation. I think Cody's self examination went really well, but I'm not sure where I wanted to go from there. There was the passionate love route or the not speaking brooding route, and in the end I figured Cody and Barbara's characters wouldn't wind up feeling overly negative towards each other, so they had their little love scene included.

Peace out and see you all in mid June!


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